I'm currently living in the moment

Chopped that stress away...

2012-02-29T19:40:00.004-08:00

Lately Dexter and I have a new show obsession - Chopped. Thank you to Food Network for sponsoring an hour filled full of anticipation, tension, and lots of unique food combinations. We sit and watch and critique these professional chefs as though Food Network had contacted us and inquired our opinion. For 60 minutes we really feel like we know as much as Julia Child or Bobby Flay. It leaves us hungry for new ingredients and me a bit empowered in my own kitchen. I see these chefs romp about and toss this and that together and something almost always splendid is the result. I sit there and think, I'm going to try that - or something very similar. :)

Tonight was one of those good cooking experience nights. I felt like one of those Chopped chefs. I was bouncing around the kitchen with such ease. I had at least four things going at once with just the right pace. I would add a dash of this spice, a little of this to make a type of sauce - and not to brag too much, but my steaks were the perfect kind of juicy. It was one of those perfect nights in the kitchen. Even the clean up was quick and easy-like. Such a pleasurable experience. It really melted the stress of this week away.

I truly believe that each night in the kitchen is a toss up of how it will pan out. Pun intended. :) It will either be smooth and accomplish much, or it will seem as though disaster has struck. When I am stressed about those uncontrollable stresses at work, I enjoy a productive night in the kitchen where I leave feeling completely in control and as though I created something wonderful. And all those yum noises and 'this is so good' comments from Dexter really made my night! <3 It took me from feeling a bit tense, to relaxed and very thankful. Thankful for the great dinner, and for the great guy I got to share it with.

Remembering the party...

2012-01-30T06:23:00.000-08:00

As a sad sorrow hits my family, I once again turn to my blog as an outlet for my emotions. My Grandpa Kenny went to heaven this past Saturday. His funeral will be at the end of this week. I find writing to be the perfect way to express myself in moments like these. I wrote something special for my Grandma and Grandpa Williams when they too went to heaven. And now I pay respect and honor to my Grandpa Kenny with a blog in his memory. I also plan to read this at his funeral, as I did for my other grandparents.

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, and whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
-John 3:16

This was the first bible verse I ever memorized as a child. Now that I am an adult I can see why this is the first verse we are taught. This verse gives comfort, strength, and understanding in so many instances of life. Today, it gives me comfort. For I know, as do any one who knew my Grandpa Kenny, he is in heaven today. One of the best memories and facts that I know about my grandpa is that he was a Christian who is now no longer in pain, but enjoying his eternal life with the Lord and those who went before him. It gives me comfort to know that Saturday ended his pain, and began his life of eternal joy. That when he entered the gates, I know that Grandma Eva was waiting for him with open arms greeting her son with an embrace. They are rejoicing together, and that makes me smile.

My heart is filled with sorrow at the loss of such a wonderful man. He was a man that impacted my life as he did many others. The sadness seems to overwhelm you if you will let it. Instead of thinking about the loss today, I will try to focus on the happy memories that I am left with of my grandpa. Those will never go away. They are the gift from the Lord that I will cherish for the rest of my life. I thought I would share a few of them with you today so that you could see a glimpse of the man who I remember, love, and call grandpa.

When I think of Grandpa Kenny, the first thing that always comes to mind is his laugh. I don't think I ever visited the man where I didn't see a big smile and hear that hearty laugh of his. He liked to laugh, joke around, and tell stories. I always loved it when the men would get him going on stories from the past. Dad and Uncle John could always get him laughing about some adventure the three of them had experienced while helping grandpa farm or work. One of the all time favorite stories would have to be when grandpa was driving a heavily loaded truck with beans home for supper. We would all get laughing when they reminisced of how he sped over that bridge, didn't look back, went off the road a few times, and lost so many beans just so they wouldn't be late for supper.

When I think of grandpa's driving, I seem to always linger on the memory of an icy winter day that had been filled with sledding. Grandma Flo and Grandpa Kenny live on a road that has a wonderful hill that would ice over beautifully to make it the perfect place to ride a sled. Nick and I have had a few experiences sledding on their road that we won't soon forget. It was around noon on a day that we had spent all morning on that hill. The time had come for lunch with the family, and it was Grandpa's job to go get Grandma Eva. There was too much snow and ice for her to walk down the hill as she normally did. Grandpa set off down the driveway in his truck, backed onto the street, gave it some gas, and took off up the hill. And then found himself sliding backwards down the hill. So it gave it some more gas and went back up the hill. Annnnnnnd slid back down the hill again. So this time he backed up even further and gave it even more gas, and finally he made it up that hill. We all gathered around the window and watched and laughed the entire time. We actually wondered if he stopped at the top or just kept sliding on over the hill and down the other side. But soon enough, here he came back down with grandma.

As I said before my grandpa always seemed to be laughing and enjoying himself. As a small child I noticed this right away. Every time the family got together we laughed and really had a great time. A joke that I have shared with my grandpa all these years originated when I was young. After another fun filled visit with family, I patted grandpa on the back and said 'What a party, Grandpa!' He found such humor in that statement coming out of such a young girl, that it stuck. Every time we parted ways from there on I patted him on the back and said 'What a party, Grandpa!' And if he could get it in first he would pat me on the back and say 'What a party, Erin!' It was our little inside joke that never got old. As I stand here today I wish that I could pat him on the back once more. It pains me to say that I can not. But it warms my heart to know that his life was the party. He enjoyed his life every step of the way. And the really great news is, his party has really only just begun. So I say one last time, 'What a party, Grandpa!'

saying goodbye

2011-12-12T15:26:00.000-08:00

Life is short, and life is sweet. Words that were spoken at my great uncle's funeral today. So true, and not always recognized by many.

My great uncle's death was an unexpected thing. Death is never an easy thing to deal with or understand. Even though it was over a year ago when my grandpa died, there are days when I still feel the loss. Today I not only felt the loss of my Uncle Fred, but of his brother, my grandpa. Fred, in so many ways, was so similar to my grandpa. He looked like grandpa, sounded like him, and also said the same kind of unique sayings. Fred had that soft-hearted way about him, like all the Williams men do- including my grandpa, dad, and brother. But one thing that set Fred apart from the other Williams men, was his way of holding a toothpick perfectly on the tip of his bottom lip. It was a skill that amazed me as a child. Fred, like my grandpa was a phone talker. I remember that my grandpa called the house every day. Fred called dad often to see how things were going down here - even after my grandparents died. It must be a Williams thing, cause I have also been known to talk on the phone a bit. :)

As I paid my final respects to Fred and saw him one last time today, it was almost like I was looking at my grandpa again. This did make saying goodbye harder. But it also made me realize that the ones we love are never truly gone. They stay with us. They live in each person who they touched somehow in their lifetime. Grandpa lived in Fred because he impacted his life, just as grandpa did my dad, brother, and myself. This will not be the last time that I see an instant of grandpa, or even Fred. They live in those of us who love them. And one day I will see them again. But for now, I thank the Lord for the gift of the memories and love that we can still feel.

what I'm most thankful for...

2011-11-12T19:51:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving is fast approaching, and I have been reading the posts people have been putting on facebook of what they are thankful for. What a wonderful thing to do, think of something you are thankful for each day. This is something that we should all do. I have been doing this each day. I haven't been posting them on facebook, but I still have been doing the practice.

There seems to be a recurring theme of mine each day. I seem to be thankful for love in my life.

Love is something that I have always known in my life.

Growing up in the household that I did, love was never something that I questioned or thought I was lacking of. My parents showed me love from the first moment I remember to this very day. Their actions always said one thing to my brother and me - we love you! I'm so thankful that I grew up in a house that was full of hugs and I love you's! I watch movies and hear songs that people write where they go their entire lives without saying I love you to their parents. I just don't know how this could be possible. Every time I talk to my parents, we always say I love you. This is something I am very thankful for.

My brother and I have also always loved each other. Sure, we bickered and argued when we were little bitty kids, but as we got older - we discovered we were the best of friends. We have so much in common, and can spend tons of time together and never get on each others' nerves. When something terrible or great happens, he is the person I want to talk to about it. We even speak our own "movie language". I am very thankful for the love I share with my brother.

I have had a loving relationship with The Lord since I was about ten years old. My parents always took us to church and Sunday School. I don't remember many Sundays where we didn't go to church. This life in church has provided a foundation of love in me that I can't even begin to explain its wonder. Even though I was saved by the grace of God many years ago, I still feel its warmth and strength every day of my life. I'm thankful that Jesus died for my sins, and that I am a sinner saved by his grace - and feel the love of the Lord every day of my life.

Over the years, I have made some pretty amazing friends. And I am lucky enough to say that my closest friends and I have a relationship where we express the love of our friendship to each other. There have been times in my life where the love of my friends got me through another night. I'm thankful that I have such wonderful friends that I know I could call at any hour of the night if needed.

My family is growing. In the past year it has expanded by one sister in law, and two nephews. The entire family is thankful for these additions. What we are most thankful for - is the love that we all share together. We instantly loved each other.

Seven months ago I met this guy. Even before we began "talking" or dating, I knew there was something unique and special about this guy. I was intrigued from the very beginning. Even though I may not have been the easiest person to date in the very beginning, I am thankful to say, this guy knew exactly what to say and do to keep me on my toes. There was never a date that I didn't go home smiling. We could talk about movies and theories we had and found out they were very similar. He laughed at things I found funny and worried others might think weird. I never could look at him and not smile. He made me laugh so much. I turned around twice and realized we had not only become best friends, but that I loved him more dearly than I had loved any guy. Here we are, seven months later, and I am still smiling and experiencing love yet again in my life. This is a kind of love I have never experienced before. I'm so very thankful for Dexter's love.

So as this month brings on thoughts of thankfulness to us all, I am reminded that I am most thankful for the love in my life. There are many forms of love present in my life, and I am thankful for it all. No. I am blessed by it all. I thank The Lord for blessing me with this life and the love in it. Have a blessed Thanksgiving everyone!

visiting the dentist...

2011-10-06T15:44:00.000-07:00

One day this week, after work, I had to go to the dentist. I had put it off long enough. Even though I didn't really want to go, we get to a point in our lives where -our don't want to's - are outweighed by our responsibilities. Going to the dentist is something I know I must do, at least, semi-regularly in order to have healthy teeth. I am not fond of this practice. There are three main reasons why I lay in that chair holding my owns hands in a tight grip and stare at the ceiling with an intense look on my face.

1. I feel a bit uncomfortable at the fact that there is no designated place to look during the procedure. As I sit in that chair, my head and gaze are directed toward the ceiling. Yet there is nothing for me to stare at. I have often wondered why dentists don't post posters, or better yet a TV screen coming right out of the ceiling. Instead I lay there trying to find something to fixate my gaze upon. There are only so many times you can count the tiles, or stare at the lights before your eyes go a little fuzzy. I sit there and try to strategically NOT stare at the person working on my teeth. There is nothing more uncomfortable than when you just kind of glance over at them, and they choose that moment to look you in the eye. You dart your eyes quickly away like you were caught cheating on a test. I feel as though it is rude if I stare at them while they work. (Plus, I am just not that fond of direct eye contact)

2. I use a toothbrush with semi-soft bristles to clean my teeth daily. When I go to the dentist, they feel the need to drill, or sand away the dirtiness build-up. I realize these are standard and perfectly safe tools. But the vibrations these tools cause leave an image in my head of smoke pouring out of my mouth in the attempts to clean the teeth. Its not the most comforting feeling in the world.

3. I NEVER know what to do with my tongue! This is the chore that keeps me half annoyed, and half embarrassed during the entire visit. I know that I must keep my mouth open for them to clean my teeth, but what do I do with my tongue? Do I hold it up to keep it away from my bottom teeth? But then don't I look retarded with my tongue all tense and stretched out.....Do I flatten it on the bottom of my mouth? But when I try to do that and hold my mouth open, my mouth sllloooowwwwlllyyy closes to where they have a centimeter of open mouth to work in.......Do I have it touch the roof of my mouth? But when I do that all the water reside from their work falls down my throat and chokes me before that tiny vacuum sucks it out. It's like my tongue goes stupid. Not only does it not know where to go, but it falls in love with that tiny water vacuum. Every time they have me close my mouth so it can suck the water out, my tongue blocks the vacuum and scares the living crap out of me.

The good news is, that this visit usually only lasts around 20-30 minutes, and both my dental hygienist and dentist are some of the nicest people. I walk out with teeth that feel squeaky clean to the tongues touch. It's good to know that those few moments of uncomfortable silence and twitching have a nice result. I'm sure I will go back....sometime soon :)

Where did that blogger go???

2011-09-20T19:07:00.000-07:00

Tonight is one of the first nights that I have really used my laptop here at home in a few weeks. I realized that my busy schedule lately has left me checking both emails and facebook via Blackberry. Don't get me wrong, I love this feature of my phone, but when wanting to really browse my internet addictions, it leaves something to be desired. That is why, after fixing dinner and cleaning the kitchen, I decided to dust off the purple Dell and take it for a spin. As I checked my facebook and did the normal rounds, I realized that it had been a while since I blogged. This once outlet, de-stressor, and overall pleasure of mine has apparently gone to the waste-side. My last blog entry was MONTHS ago. I can't believe that I have let myself get this busy! So I took a few minutes and thought about what had been keeping me from my blogging. I am in the second month of a new school year. I must say that this is going to be a great year. This group of kids will be loads of fun, and they seem to be quite the little workers already. I have plenty of interesting and fun things already spinning around in my head to do with this group. I am in the process of expanding PBIS and the Book Fair is a month away! My mind is going a million miles an hour when it comes to work. Luckily for me, I absolutely love it! Thank the Lord I love what I do and feel that passion for it. So...yeah this could keep me from blogging the night away.Then I think even more. My summer was super busy! I didn't do any big traveling. I took a couple little weekend getaway trips here and there, quite a bit of local running around, and found myself in the local country most of the time. The major thing that I did was spend lots of time with a very special person. You see, I found the perfect guy. A few months before summer started, I began to talk to, and eventually start dating this guy. The more time I spent with him, the more I realized he was a really great guy. Well, days turned to weeks, and weeks now to months. Here I am totally in love and just overly happy most of the time. I walk around with that goofy look on my face, and I find things like housework even more enjoyable. It's funny how falling in love can make everything else seem like it has this extra glow to it. Things that I once found to be very ordinary, now seem to have an extra spark to them and I see life in a bit of a different way. I was happy before with me and my life, but now I have this new appreciation for it. I loved who I was and what I was doing with my life, now I love this person that is in my life in a way I didn't realize possible. That kind of love where sitting on the couch watching movies feels like the best night ever! You wonder why you never realized how much fun and happiness this couch could bring you.....oh yeah...it's cause we are here together. :) I spent an entire summer like this with Dexter. We really got to know the real us. We became very close, and looked twice and realized we had become best friends. We piddled around Carrier Mills and Stonefort and places near by all summer long. We didn't do much of anything, but it felt like everything to us. It was the best summer yet.So I guess this explains why I became a temporary MIA Blogger. I can't imagine that will become a habit, though. I love blogging way too much. And I feel that with the school year in full swing, there will be many inspirations for new blogs coming my way. So don't fret the probable two avid readers of this blog. (Ha, ha)

that kinda freaks me out.....

2011-07-18T19:36:00.000-07:00

I live on a tiny portion of a street that could only be described as a drive way that is shared by neighbors. There are four of us that depend on this tiny pathway to take us to the bigger streets of Carrier Mills that will transport us to our desired locations. This has never been a problem for any of us. We all functioned on the same respect for the others and did not block this pathway. For the past couple of weeks, this has not been the case. One of our neighbors has been depending on outsiders to come and take care of them. These outsiders have not grasped the respect thy neighbors tiny road to the bigger street concept. These outsiders have been parking in our tiny road in such a way that can only be described as - more than half the damn street! I mean seriously...we all have tiny driveways to park our cars in. AND if we didn't have drive ways, we would park in our actual yards to not hinder our other neighbors from their travels. Courtesy....a lost art apparently.

I have been observing this neighborhood occurrence over the past few weeks like anyone who has watched The Burbs would. I find that there is healthy amount of neighbor watching that others affectionately call "neighborhood watch" - that I do as well. It seems that there are non consistent hours when people leave and enter this house and at the same time block the road. Ironically enough at night the road is never blocked.

The other night I was watching from my kitchen window and observed how a car was not only blocking our little road, but shining its bright lights into my window. I started complaining about this occurrence to Dexter and the lights immediately shut off. Of course due to the odd timing I immediately shot him a shocked and startled look all at once. He found this to be humerus, I found it to be freaky. It was as if this car could hear me and was trying to shake me.

Well tonight my friend Arla was here with me. I again noticed out the kitchen window the car shining those bright lights at me. I proceeded to again start griping about the disrespectful nature of these people. There were comments made such as: is that really necessary to have those lights shining the entire time....I hope your battery goes dead.... those are the kinds of people that end causing a padidle predicament...they need to stop shining those lights in my eyes....I'm about to go out there and give them a piece of my mind....I bet the cops would have a thing or two to say about those lights and blocking this street. As you can see the longer I stood there, the more vicious my remarks became. Well, the time came for Arla to leave, and I walked her to the car. As we approached her car, those lights were still on, and we both said something to each other about it once more. As Arla started to pull out of the driveway they sped off behind her in a kind of challenging way. She called and told me of the occurrence and how she swore she could hear the La Cucaracha song playing as they sped by. I observed this and how they were gone and continued talking to her while walking in the living room. As I walked back into the kitchen the car was BACK BLOCKING THE ROAD AND SHINING ITS LIGHTS IN MY KITCHEN WINDOW!!! I was a little surprised by this fact and continued to inform Arla of this. At the exact moment I started telling her, the car AGAIN began to speed off down the road in a challenging manner. (I listened for the La Cucaracha) I didn't quite understand this and walked to the bathroom as I discussed it with Arla. As I returned to the kitchen, THE CAR WAS BACK IN THE SAME SPOT BLOCKING THE ROAD AND SHINING ITS LIGHTS IN MY KITCHEN!!! Ok, by this time I was starting to get a little freaked out. I screamed at Arla of this development as they AGAIN sped off down the tiny road. As they drove off of Harris Street once more I could not help but be a little nervous. I have continued to keep a watchful eye to the road and have not seen the La Cucaracha car again tonight. I am, however, keeping a watchful eye in that direction. I know it's just one of those weird coincidences, but....it kinda freaks me out a little.

my favorite person

2011-06-06T15:22:00.000-07:00

We go through many stages in life. There are different times in our lives when different people are included. When we grow up, we sometimes don't always end up with the same friends we had as children. Having the same friends as an adult, that you had when you were a child is a rare thing. Even though it is a sad thought, we grow up - and the closeness we share with some, fades away.

I am very lucky girl. My favorite person in the world has been one of my best friends for as long as I can remember. My brother and I have remained so close over the years. When I think who I know the best, who can cheer me up with a single facial expression, and who I consider my favorite person in the world - the answer is always the same. Nick. Our lives have changed dramatically. We have grown up, gone on our own paths, and still remain such close friends. I don't know anyone else who understands me, can make me laugh, or love me unconditionally as Nick can. He truly is one in a million in my eyes.

A wonderful thing happened this past Saturday. I saw my favorite person the happiest I have ever seen him. Now one of the things I like the best about our relationship, is the fact that we can read each other really well. We can tell everything we need to just by the other's facial expression. For example, I can always tell when Nick is trying to fool me because he has on his "lying face". I can also tell when Nick is actually mad, and not just being quiet. His being quiet face and angry face are quite different. It's all in the eyes. And of course, I can always tell when Nick is happy. Nick has this adorable little grin that I will call his giddy grin. He has worn this grin so much since Richelle came into his life. I could tell right away that she was different and wonderful just by Nick's grin that he always wore when she spoke, looked at him, or just walked into the room. He lights up when she comes in the room. And in turn, so does she. Even though I have only known her over a year, I am starting to pick up on her facial expressions as well.

This Saturday was their wedding. I am so glad that I was a part of this special day. It was wonderful. The ceremony was beautiful! We all had such a great time.

Before I start in on telling you about the ceremony, I will warn you that Nick and I are emotional people. I had been trying my hardest to hold back my happy tears all day. As the ushers opened those double doors, I started down the isle. I told myself to keep a smile on my face for the photographer and the guests. As the photographer snapped the picture and ducked away to let us down the isle a tender and very special moment happened for me. I flashed my eyes up and made direct eye contact with my brother. A pang hit in my chest and I could tell by his eyes that it did him as well. I know too well the little whimper sound that he made as I made it as well. I clenched my lips together, and was not able to contain it any longer. The tears formed. The best kind of tears. Happy tears. They came because when I looked at my brother at this moment and saw him waiting at the end of this isle, I remembered his journey up to this point. So many memories of what he went through to get here today flashed before my eyes. The main image that stayed in my head was of his giddy grin when he sees Richelle. And I knew at that very moment that true love exists and is worth waiting for. And I also thought to myself, no one deserves this happiness more than Nick! As I rounded the fountain and stood in my spot in the bridesmaid line, I looked to my right to see Nick looking at me. We shared a connection of emotion from a mere glance at each other. Our friendship is truly special. We can look at each other and say it all. With my eyes I was saying 'I love you bubby.' And with his he was saying 'I love you sis.' I knew this at that moment and will remember it forever.

I wanted to also share with you the words that I wrote and read during Nick and Richelle's wedding ceremony. I wrote this from the heart, and made it completely about them. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to read in front of a crowd. I only choked up twice, and both were when I looked at Nick. I love you Nick and Richelle! I couldn't be happier for you both! And I look forward to sharing our lives together as a family for the rest of our days!

On a very unsuspecting evening, everything changed for two people. From the moment he saw her smile, he realized he would do anything to see it again. The first time she heard him laugh, she tried to think of a joke just to hear it once more. After just mere hours together, they both knew that this was something more than just a meeting of chance. Days turned to weeks, and weeks into months together. Before either of them knew it, their friendship had turned into the deepest love imaginable. Time apart broke their hearts, and time together completed them. They found themselves to be the missing pieces of each others’ heart. The only thing left was to become a family. And when each met the other’s family, they all discovered that these two together completed our families as well. All of their friends can see the love they share in the way they look at each other. The Lord brought these two together.

Once in a lifetime we meet someone who changes everything. And they wanted to change everything for the rest of their lives.

Because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you want the rest of your life to begin as soon as possible.

my shelter from the storm....

2011-05-25T18:49:00.000-07:00

One of the selling points of Southern Illinois is unpredictability. Weather is certainly something we can never really predict or think we have a "good hold on" in this area. It has snowed in March, had tornadoes in December, and you never really know how to dress to stay a comfortable temperature. For this reason, when I see the bright colors on the weather channels map of this area, the clouds change, and winds pick up - I ready the basement. I think "the May 8th storm" - may it live in infamy - taught us to be cautious of Spring/Summer transition weather. I also think it made every person a little cautious of bad weather, turn nutso.

If I'm being honest, I will admit that I do fear sleeping right through a tornado. I don't why I should fear that, I mean it would be the best way to go. But with my sick and twisted mind, I fear that I will wake, mid wind sweep while I am whirling through the air, to panic and say to myself - Why didn't I fear the weather more and hide in the basement! A little over-dramatic...most likely. I was THAT person, taking a nice bath this evening when the storm was in Stonefort- headed this way. I had about three cautious (wonderful) friends sending me IMs and texts telling me to get in my basement as it is about to hit. Where was this brain thrust...taking a bath. My father would be so disappointed to know this fact. He is constantly trying to embed it into my brain, when there is lightening, and possible bad weather - stay out of the bathtub. But where do I find solitude during this time....in a bath. I can't help it, I love my bath time. I do some of my best problem solving, relaxing, and reading during this time. Well, thanks to my adoring friends, I high-tailed it to my basement area. I did exactly as my mother told me, and brought my purse down with me. No way would a tornado be taking the good looks of this house AND my credit cards. No sir! My purse is like my lifeline, and my mother taught me to never let it out of sight. So here I am in my basement with my purse, shoes, blanket, flashlight, and the storm kit within sight (Yes I have a storm kit. It has candles, batteries, and other important things in it. It is a genius idea, thanks for noticing) I look around and realize that I am not as dumb as I may look. I have made quite the storm shelter. I have an assortment of chairs and recliners, a dart board, my craft table, and washer and dryer down here. I just sat my little self down with a good book, and started in on my loads of laundry needing to be done. People would send me messages asking if I was ok. Ok? I'm fantastic! I just finished this great book and load number! I saw pics of some funnel clouds from mere miles away from my house, and someone never tensed up at all. My little shelter from the storm was quite the relaxing evening at home. I really enjoyed myself during all the sirens and concern.

As I sit and think about it, I probably should have been a little bit more concerned tonight. I wonder if this shelter from the storm, or I should refer to it as, my relaxing getaway - if it is making me not cautious enough about Southern Illinois weather? Eh. I don't think I will worry too much about it. :)

my lake view window...

2011-04-26T19:08:00.000-07:00

As I pull the curtains back on my front window, I look out and see a lake where fields used to be across the highway. When I go to get the mail, I look down the highway and see that water is beginning to cover the road, while it is completely swallowing my neighbors' yards. Here it is another evening where I am sitting in my house and all I hear outside is thunder rolling in. I know this means more rain, and the chance that flooding may be worse when I wake in the morning. Rain, rain, go away, come back in July when we will really need you!

I could sit and get really down about the rain and how badly I need to mow my yard - but can't due to the fact that when I walk in the yard it's like poking a sponge! I'm trying not to remember a couple years ago when it flooded so badly here. I had never seen flooding quite like that before. And I am sad to say, that when I look down a few roads near my home, it looks terribly familiar. I didn't live at this house when it flooded. I lived with my parents still. My parents' house is sort of in a more center part of town. I now live on the edge of this little town and see tons of water approaching two sides of my house. I have the fan and dehumidifier going non stop in the basement, and a watchful eye on my surrounding areas. I am on flood watch.

It's humerus to me to think back on the flooding from a couple years ago. It makes me think of my friend Rachael. She lived in Harrisburg at the time- near the hospital - in an apartment that I visited most nights. One morning when I woke to get ready for work, I received notice that there would be NO work today. Since there was no way that it snowed the night before, I was shocked to hear that flooding was keeping me from work. While I am still pondering this astonishing thought over and over again in my head, I receive a picture text message from Rach. All I see in the pic is water. I then realize she has started her journey to work to only be blocked (only a few blocks from her apartment) by a lake of water. She turned around and drove in the other direction to find - she was trapped! As a small amount of time passed, others sent us picture messages of the Kroger parking lot, as well as other familiar areas to see that damage that this constant rain was now causing. The thing I remember the most about all this, is how determined Rach was to get out! She searched and scrambled through slightly flooded areas until she found a way to Carrier Mills. Of course all of this couldn't have been due to the fact that she hadn't gone grocery shopping before the flood... :) She needed some food, people! And this girl was going to make it to Millstone and get her....I think it was....eggs...that she was craving.

If it floods like before, I don't know who will make a funny memory for me since Rach has moved to Franklin and won't experience this with us in Southern Illinois. It's funny what we remember from situations and experiences. A major flood happens, and I remember my friend going crazy trying to get her some hard-boiled eggs. I think it's my mind's own weird way of blocking out the bad and masking it with memories that will make my smile.

home again

2011-04-24T19:52:00.000-07:00

It began last Saturday and ended just this Friday - Spring Break 2011- Wilmington or Bust! Along with my friend Whitney, I took a road trip to the east coast. I had never visited this part of the country before, and was anxious and excited to experience this newness. Needless to say, there were many memorable experiences that I won't soon forget. We actually kept a notebook in the car and recorded memorable quotes and occurrences from the trip that can make me laugh by just reading them. In a nutshell, I would describe my spring break as - good times!

The adventure started with a trip to Franklin, TN to visit my friend Rachael. Rach moved to Franklin back in December. I was so excited to see Gracie - it had been around 4 months! We read books together, played with toys, and watched TV. It was our normal fun times, and I loved it. I could've spent the whole week with her, but my time was cut short. Franklin had such a quaint downtown area. We went to McCreary's Irish Pub for dinner, where I tried Bangers and Mash. I have always wanted to try this, and on the first night of our trip I crossed this off my life to-do list. They were outstanding, and I had such a fun night with my dear friend Rach in her new town. I can't wait to go back this summer and spend more time with my two girls in Franklin.

Sunday we journeyed to Gatlinburg. Here we walked around their downtown area and visited Ripley's Believe It or Not, the Space Needle, and most importantly the Smoky Mountains State Park. My friends, seeing the mountains was an amazing experience for me. The term - leaving you breathless - could easily be used when seeing one of God's beauties as this. I could just stare in wonder at these huge, green, puffy jolts out of the Earth for hours I believe. I was just amazed at their size. Every where I looked - more. Breathtaking to say the least.

Now as I am talking about mountains, I will add in here that even though I loved the sight of the mountains, I did NOT however enjoy the driving in the mountain area. On our trip through the Smokies, everything was ok. I compared the highway driving to Mario Cart. I felt as though I did much better in real life driving than I ever did in the game Mario Cart though (thank goodness!). Now, on our way home...not so lucky. I found myself at the mercy of my Garmin GPS (who we affectionately called Veronica during the trip - she sounds like a Veronica, I think). After one of our planned stops - kind of- off the beaten path, Veronica took us on a journey up Grandfather Mountain. I know this to be the mountain's name, because once we reached the top, we saw a huge sign and the resort for staying at top. I did not see any use of staying at this resort seeing as though I have never wanted to be away from ANY place more in my ENTIRE life. I will NEVER live in the mountains. I may never VISIT the mountains again. I actually had all intentions of having an "Office incident" with Veronica when I got off this mountain and returned home safely. (Remember in the movie, The Office, when they beat that fax machine with a baseball bat - that sounded pretty tempting) Here I was driving up and finally down this HUGE mountain on the tiniest road I think I have ever driven on. To my right, tall mountain - to my left, nothing. This is where I would drop off this mountain. And the whole journey I find myself getting more and more nauseous while my ears pop CONSTANTLY! Needless to say, by the time we got off the mountain, it took a whole bag of cheese puff corn to calm me down.

Any-who, our next stop was the Biltmore Estate. And...O...M....G! It was out of this world. I mean, a step out of our countries history cool! It is just...well, big for a lack of a better word. The tour inside is outstanding! My favorite part of the castle/mansion was the basement. This is where you got to see all the kitchens, refrigerators/freezers, and storage for preparation of each day. Loved it! You need to put this on your life to-do list. It's totally worth it!

Then the major stop on our trip, Wilmington, NC. This is a great place to go if you are a TV and movie fanatic like me. We took this Hollywood Walk Tour where we walked around downtown and saw the actual places they used in filming of TV shows and movies. Did you know Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was filmed in Wilmington? Yep! I'm not just talking about One Tree Hill and Dawson's Creek scenes here folks (although I got to see SO MANY actual places from those shows). It was really neat. And while eating at the actual restaurant that was Pacey's in the show Dawson's Creek - I cracked and ate my first steamed oyster. I have eaten oysters in dressing before, but never have a tackled cracking and eating these suckers. Check. (off my life to do list)

As we ventured back to our homeland, we made a stop at this place called Mystery Hill. The Vortex in Mystery Hill has the very weird gravitational pull in a few rooms of this house. It's amazing. You can't stand straight up. You are constantly leaning back in a way that you couldn't normally stand without falling under normal laws of gravity. A ball rolls up in this room, and when you throw it across the room - will pull like a curve ball. Water flows up pipes. And there is a swing that will only swing back, but never go forward as the pull is too strong on it. Hard to really explain, needs to be experienced. Look up Mystery Hill on youtube and you will see.

I had quite a trip and many first time experiences during it. But going also taught me yet again a few things about myself.

One, I am more grown up and confident than I realize at times. I usually don't like to drive in places I am unfamiliar with. I always think I will get too nervous. I did the majority of the driving on this trip, and was not nervous in the slightest when driving through big cities, or in unfamiliar circumstances. Major plus in my book.

And B, it again showed me how much I love home. It is wonderful to go on trips and see new things. But at the end of the day, it shows me that what I truly love and need in life is here in this small town where I live. Sure I missed my home - sleeping in my own bed, and my bathroom. But even more than that, I missed Sushi every night. It's funny how I just can't seem to sleep right without her by my side or actually on top of me. She is my little comfort. I also missed seeing my family. I get to see my parents almost every day, and my brother and his little family at least once a week. Boy did I miss these things while on my trip. I was so happy to spend the entire weekend with all these people as soon as I got home. I enjoyed my trip, but as they say - there's no place like home. I am very happy to be...home again! :)

the approaching adventure....

2011-04-10T15:46:00.000-07:00

In a few hours I will be embarking on a journey of a lifetime! :) Whitney and I are going on a week long road trip. We are heading to the east coast - Wilmington, NC, and then circle back. Our major stops are Franklin, Pigeon Forge, Asheville, Wilmington, and Winston-Salem. There are many other stops along the way. We are going to see all interesting things along our drive such as the largest frying pan, Ripley's, SciWorks, Mystery Hill, and many many more! I can't even describe how excited I am about this. I'm so excited that I should be finishing up packing, but here I am blogging about it to get some of my giddiness out! :)

Sure it will be super fun, but me - being me - I am a bit nervous about it as well. I get so worried that I will forget something really important and the stores toward the east won't have these items. For some reason it is though I am afraid I am going into this other dimension where the items that I need to get me through the day won't be available. If I do not pack the kitchen sink, there will not be one present for me to use on the trip! This is something I need to just get over. Seriously, if I can't get by without it for a week, wouldn't I remember it? Let's hope so. Cause I do NOT want to have that feeling and realization two hours into the trip of Oh NO I forgot ____ the most important thing in the world to me!

I also am a bit nervous that I will get us lost when I am driving. I do not like driving in places I am not familiar with. I am putting alot of faith into my Garmin. It better not disappoint! Because I'm being totally honest when I say I won't be that calm and resourceful if I get really lost. ;)

There is also the fear that my stomach will be....well itself. I hate my stomach! Whitney hates my stomach! I think I have one of the most sensitive stomachs in the world. My friends and I have become used to the fact that if I am going to eat out, there is a chance I may not want to do anything else after that because there is a possibility that I may be in extreme pain. Many instances I feel as though my stomach rejects all wonderful tasting food. It decides that I am enjoying myself way too much with tasty treats and decides to offer me some pain to humble me. Thanks alot stomach! I thought we were supposed to be on the same team! This constant inner conflict (literally) has caused me to worry a little. I have a small stomach pharmacy packed, and am prepared to stop and get more or different medications if needed. I can just hear Whitney's moan now if I say those infamous words - My stomach doesn't feel so good..... Uuuugggghhhhh! Whitney: Did you take something? Me: No. It just started hurting. This is not a new thing to us. Hopefully stomach will cooperate more than usual. I think it might have sensed how important this trip is to me. Maybe we will be on the same team for once.

Well, here I am with a few things to be a bit nervous about, and still totally pumped! I will now post this blog, get myself clothed and ready, and finish up the little details of packing. I am sure I will be posting blogs during this trip, and for sure once it is done. But for now I a bid you a farewell. It's SPRING BREAK!

why did you do this for me?

2011-04-01T08:44:00.000-07:00

Every year I read my favorite children's book with my class. I read Charlotte's Web. We have been reading it the past few weeks, and Friday we came to a close on a classic piece of children's literature. It's one of those books that I am very excited to read each year to my kids. The book is so familiar to me it feels like an old friend that I introduce to a new group of kids each year. Sure, most of the kids have seen some, if not all of the movie - but the book is different.

Although I do always tend to get a bit emotional while watching the movie, I can barley make it through reading the book without my voice cracking, and/or crying right as I read the story to the class. I realize they have not come to the realization as Wilbur, and I have. That will come with age. The realization that friendship is a precious gift that will not always be easy or as simple as sharing crayons or sliding down the slide together. A big part of true friendship is love. And the older we get, the more we realize - when love comes into play in anything, it takes the simplicity away. When we truly love someone, we find out to what depths we would go for their happiness. Charlotte was a true friend to Wilbur. She loved him unconditionally, and sacrificed all that she had for his survival. There aren't many friends like that.

"Why did you do all of this for me?" Wilbur asked. "I don't deserve it. I've never done anything for you."

"You have been my friend," replied Charlotte. "That in itself is a tremendous thing. I wove my webs for you because I liked you. After all, what's a life anyway? We're born, we live a little while, we die. By helping you, perhaps I was trying to lift up my life a trifle. Heaven knows anyone's life can stand a little of that."

But as he was being shoved into the crate, he looked up at Charlotte and gave her a wink. She knew he was saying goodbye in the only way he could. And she knew her children were safe. "Good-bye!" she whispered. The she summoned all her strength and waved one of her front legs at him. She never moved again. Next day, as the Ferris wheel was being taken apart and the race horses were being loaded into vans and the entertainers were packing up their belongings and driving away in their trailers, Charlotte died. The Fair Grounds were soon deserted. The sheds and buildings were empty and forlorn. The infield was littered with bottles and trash. Nobody, of the hundreds of people that had visited the Fair, knew that a grey spider had played the most important part of all. No one was with her when she died.

It is not often that someone comes along who is a true friend and a good writer. Charlotte was both.

I think what Charlotte was trying to say was the Wilbur was the most special kind of friend. Wilbur was her family. I finished reading this book on Friday, and then came home to create a special birthday cake for my brother. As I was working on his cake, I got to thinking about Charlotte's Web, and who it is in my life that I find to be the most special friend that I would do anything for. I looked down at the cake and realized...Nick. I got a little choked up thinking about how truly lucky I am that my brother and I are such great friends. I started thinking about all the other birthday cakes I have made him, how much I love picking out birthday presents for him, and how I love to sit in his living room with him and watch the movies he got as presents. I think about my entire life growing up with him, and all the fun times we have had. I think of all our phone conversations we have where we talk about our days, vent about our frustrations, and ask each other advice on which path to take. I think about how much we laugh when we are together, and how hanging out with him can always bring me out of a bad funk or mood. He is my most special friend. He is my brother. He is my hero. I never feel more safe than when I am with him, and never have more fun than when we are quoting movies, and in essence, memories. I think about how I would sacrifice so much for him, as Charlotte did for Wilbur.

I love those moments. Moments when the book had an impact on you. You sit back and think, this is how that situation relates to my life. It sticks with you. The words on the page are no longer just words. They are more powerful than that. They are sparking emotions and thoughts you didn't realize you would have. They make you think much longer than a movie would. And that, my friends - is why I read to my kids, and for myself almost every day.

1507 Brittany Lane...

2011-03-27T19:15:00.000-07:00

There is a blue house that exists in Marion on a little street called Brittany Lane. This is a wondrous house where many a great times have been had. It sets in a great little neighborhood, where kids ride their bikes on the street, and occasionally grown-ups will be spotted riding 4-wheelers or pink mopeds around. There have been many hayrides, bonfires, and get togethers where friends have laughed so much. It is full of great neighbors, who actually wave at each other when they walk out the front door, and come sit on your deck with you to shoot the breeze after work. This is the place where my brother has lived for the past few years.

I still remember my brother moving out to this house in Marion. I was not very pleased at this development in the beginning. My brother and I were still living in our parents' house, and he was the first to go. I was a bit jealous of this house taking my buddy away from me. No more Saturday morning brunches of assorted appetizer like foods baked in the oven. No more movie fest where we quote the lines as they are happening in the movie and just burst into laughter. No more trips to Millstone together when we wanted a specific snack. No more check ins when one of us came home late at night on the weekends(him...always him, ha ha). No more living with Nick.

Needless to say, I did get over my bit of a broken heart from Nick moving out. I soon discovered that plenty of fun was to be had at his house. I have made so many memories at this house, that I will most likely drive by it for years to come and remember some pretty amazing times.

The funny thing is, the first time I walked in this house I was almost angry at the sight of it - cause it was taking my brother away - and now, I'm becoming a bit emotional about the place. I walked in each of the rooms this Saturday. I was alone. The rooms were completely empty. It was just like the first time I was ever in the house. Only this time, when I walked from room to room, a memory flashed. This has been an amazing place for my brother to have lived in. It has been a good house to him. And now as I walked around alone it the empty thing, I became sad. This may be the last time I walk through it. We helped Nick move out the remains of the garage and it really struck me. Nick and I have spent SO much time in his garage. We loved to sit out on the tailgate of his truck, or in the seats of his boat, and just talk. We are lucky enough to have a relationship where we talk to each other about anything and everything. As I swept the garage floor of leaves that had blown in, I pictured them blowing in there on an evening where we had the big door open and just talking away - not even noticing the leaves collecting in that corner, because we were so involved in our conversation. That won't ever happen again in that garage.

Although I am sad to see such a great little place go, I get excited about all that is to come for my brother, and his new family. We will just have to make new, better memories at his new house. There's a garage there, too. We could have some great convos there too. Although I don't think Richelle would like it if we let leaves drift in. :) There are so many wonderful times to be had. Just like with his other house. I don't see all that is to come. It is good to keep the old memories, and make new ones. Soon enough, I won't even think to drive by that blue house. I will just be on a route to his current house!

it feels like home to me...

2011-03-21T15:03:00.000-07:00

In your life you're going to go to some great places, and you're going to do some wonderful things. But no matter where you go or who you become, this place will always be with you. There is only one Carrier Mills. And its your home.

Ok, so I tweaked this quote a little bit to make it work for me. This is a line from one of my favorite shows, One Tree Hill. And, of course where it says Carrier Mills, they said Tree Hill. But the quote works so well for me and how I am feeling today.

I have lived in this very small town of Carrier Mills my entire life. I even lived here while I was in college. I commuted back and forth every day to keep the same job, and boyfriend I had when leaving high school. There have been times where I regret not moving to Carbondale while I was going to school there, but I have never regretted Carrier Mills.

Even though it is small, and not that eventful - there are so many things in Carrier Mills that I love. How can you hate something that contains some of the most important things in your life?

I love my job. Having a job that you truly love is very hard to find. You could look all over the world, and try so many things and still not ever be completely happy or feel like something is missing without your dream job. I have mine. I loved going to this small school when I was growing up. I liked knowing every person in my graduating class. I was able to know my teachers - I mean that they knew things about me, not just my name and grade point average. School was fun for me. Now I love giving back to the school system (including paying my taxes to it) that gave me a fun childhood and wonderful life lessons. I work with some of the best people in the world in this small school system. We may not have much, but we work hard and give it our all every day. I sometimes think our resourcefulness is a skill that rich schools could be envious of.

My parents live here. I enjoy sharing so very much with my parents. I make a journey to their house almost every day after work so that we can check on each other. I have dinner with them often, and we go places together alot. We also do house projects together. Just last night my mom helped me with the beginning attempts of landscaping at my house for this year. While we worked outside, dad looked in on the electrical project I am about to have some men come do for me. We enjoy our family time. And the great thing is Nick, Richelle, and the boys live in Marion - so they are a mere 15-20 minutes away. We are all able to get together alot.

Also, I attend a great church - right here in Carrier Mills. I attend great church services with a wonderful church family. This is also another thing that is not easy to come by. Finding that church that makes you feel at home every time you walk in, is a comfort that is priceless. It's something else I don't want to do without.

This small town is more than that to me. It's home. It's where I belong. I may not always belong here, but right now - it feels like home. I'm happy and always have been here. I still remember years ago - a significant other yelling at me that he hated Carrier Mills (he was afraid our hypothetical children would go to CM school)...my only reply was, I am Carrier Mills. Cause, I am. Ever since then, I have been a little sensitive about this subject.

I like to visit other places, and see the wonders that they offer. But after a while - I just want to come home. Here. It may not be adventurous enough for some, but I like it. Any until the good Lord gives me sign that I need to go somewhere else, I think I will just stay here. :)

I say you're precious, because you are...

2011-03-18T21:18:00.001-07:00

2010 brought many good things into my life. There are lots of great things that happened, and made wonderful memories. One of the best things to happen in 2010 is Richelle coming into my life. Richelle is the woman that is marrying my brother this summer. The Lord truly blessed our family when he brought Richelle into it. She is an extraordinary person that has touched my life in a way that can never be taken back. She has made my brother the happiest I have EVER seen him. For a while in my life, I did not wish for my happiness - but for my brother's. I prayed that someone come into his life that would light up his world, and be someone who could see just how wonderful he is. Well, the Lord answered. In walked Richelle.

Richelle has this way about her that puts everyone at ease. I don't believe there has ever been an awkward moment with her. Usually when someone new is introduced into a family unit, there is the initial - what do we talk about - how do we act around them - are there going to be weird incidents. That never happened with her. She walked into the home Nick and I grew up in, started talking with us, and I don't think we have stopped laughing and smiling since. We all just enjoy each other so much. And Richelle is a huge part of that.

Richelle is so non-judgmental. From the moment we met, I have felt like I could talk with her about anything. And I do. She is one of my very best friends. When I want to ask a friend about advice in life, I want her input as well. She seems to get me without having to try. And we laugh so much together. :)

This is all because she is just such a wonderful person. She is pleasant, hard working, and spiritual. She works so hard at everything she does - being a mother, taking care of her family and household, being an awesome friend, and by far one of the most dedicated people.

Tomorrow morning while I sit in my home sipping hot tea and welcoming the Saturday morning - she will be running a 5K at Walker's Bluff in memory of her mother. I spent the entire evening with her, Kristy(her best friend who will also be running in memory of Richelle's mother), and Nick. We had such a wonderful time and really enjoyed being together. As I drive home I think to myself, how can I honor such a wonderful act that Richelle is taking part in tomorrow morning.... So, I do what I do best, I blog about my feelings. I try to put into words how I feel about the outstanding person that I am lucky enough to have in my life as a friend, and soon a sister! I thank the Lord for people like Richelle. And I also thank him for letting me be a part of her life. Good luck in the morning, precious! Oh, and try not to break your foot! ;) Love you sister!

not who I once was...

2011-03-13T18:46:00.000-07:00

For some reason, I have been pondering over a comment that my mother made about a week ago to me. I was driving us around Carbondale. This means two things are most likely a certainty - 1) I was probably mouthing someone else on the road as I meandered on my journey (tiny bit of road rage), and B) We were most likely headed to Panera for some lunch or a bagel. :) I remember that I was driving along with no hesitation, and an easiness to my actions. My mother looks at me and says, "You're so different than you once were. You're so much more independent."

I took this as a huge compliment. I have since then taken the time to remember who I once was. There wasn't really anything wrong with the old me, I was just different. I guess you could say I was more of a child, and since then I have grown up. I have had a few things happen in my life in the past 5 years or so to cause this spurt of emotional growth.

I can still remember how scared I once was. I think the thing that used to scare me the most was change. I can still remember staying in a relationship for the comfort of it. Getting out would mean change. It would mean uprooting the life that I had been creating for the past six years with this person. How can you want something for years of your life, and then one day realize - I changed. The things I wanted out of life changed too. I'm not the person I once was. That girl you met when she was 18 isn't here anymore. Life took a turn from playing house to buying a house, and I suddenly slammed on the brakes and decided I needed to turn off about a mile back on this road I was traveling. When life became more of a reality for me, I realized I wanted more. I wanted to be more. I wanted change.

Where I used to think I was scared of change, it turns out - I was craving it! I was so scared, and yet so anxious to become the person I wanted to be. Breaking out of this safe, comfort zone where all the major decisions in my life were already made- significant other, house, job, how many children I would have - *SCREAM* I'm a peacock, dammit - let me fly! ;) I was not ready for everything to be so...settled. My whole life had been so calm. I was just ok with the fact that I hadn't really shaken things up a bit. I chose a person when I was 18, and now - since we became best friends I was stuck. And the truth of the matter is, I know he felt the same way. We both hadn't done anything really wrong that would merit us to break up. We dated, fell in love, grew in love and friendship with each other over the years, then started to drift apart. When we began to drift, we made the mistake of deciding to get married to fix it. We never made it down the aisle. Luckily enough the fog lifted and I could see that we were trying to live in the past. I wasn't that girl anymore.

Since making a decision to turn my world upside down, it feels like I have been going non-stop. Somewhere in the past few years I have really discovered who I am and who I want to be. I truly feel that sometimes you have to be alone for a while to discover how to make yourself happy. Because let's be honest, how can you ever expect someone else to make you happy in life, unless you know how to make yourself happy. If you don't know where you want to go, or who you want to be - how in the world could a significant other have the slightest chance of giving you a life of bliss?

Contentment has hit with me. I am happy with life. I am happy with who I am and where I am. I know what I want out of life. Well, I know what I want out of life at this moment. The truth is, I kinda like not knowing everything that is going to happen. I also like the fact that I don't ever rush into making these life decisions anymore. I don't feel the need to always know everything about where life will take me. Independence is kinda great...I don't really know how I will ever give it up ;)

dedication...

2011-03-12T13:06:00.000-08:00

This week began the Lent season. Growing up, I attended a Baptist church, and we did not focus or really participate in Lent. For the past few years I have been attending a Methodist church,and have become a participator in Lent each year. I find it to be a wonderful act of faith.

Last year I simply gave up my favorite treat, Kit Kats. This year I decided to step it up a notch. I first thought I would give up chips. This will be a challenge for me. Especially since I will be taking a road trip over Spring Break. When you travel long distances in a car, you can make a meal out of chips. I will not be able to do this. I will have to practice control and dedication to my Lent cause. I went a step further though, and decided I would give up all fried potato products with my chip withdrawal. This is what has made it even more of a sacrifice. Do you realize how many fried potato options there are on a menu? And boy do I enjoy just throwing some of those cubed hashbrowns into a skillet and making a meal out of it. Needless to say, I am already feeling the cravings. Today at lunch, EVERYONE in my family (except Richelle) ordered French Fries with their sandwich! I found myself staring at them at one point and asking members of my family, 'Are they crunchy? The look really crunchy...I love crunchy fries. And they seem to be spiced as well? Those are some of the good fries.' Well, this is the point - isn't it? To challenge me. To strengthen me as a Christian through following through with my commitment.

What I have really enjoyed, is seeing the acts of dedication of some of my fellow church members. I see that both my friends Cody and Scott are taking on good habits instead of just focusing on taking away bad ones. I really like this idea! I enjoy the fact that Cody is blogging his daily devotions as well, and I have been reading them. I just like the idea of better ourselves. Our life is a gift that has been given to us, why not try to make it the best! I have been inspired to not only take away a food item that I love, and that is not the best for me - but to also better my body. I have completely stepped up my workout routine. I have been working out every day except one in the past two weeks. I have been cutting down on the amount of food I take into my body, and limit my consumption of just empty calories(the best kind). I am already feeling better. I thought I would burn out of working out if I did it daily, but instead it's like my body craves it. I have a mind set of all the wonderful outcomes that will be happening as a result of this new practice of mine. I only hope that these feelings continue and don't burn out. I want to continue to give back to this body. As I said earlier, life is a gift, and our bodies are supposed to be our temples. It's time I treat this temple to some extended health!

this old house...

2011-02-25T18:16:00.000-08:00

Last night when I returned home from an evening of shopping and going to the movies with Whitney, I came home to a house with NO hot water. Of course I didn't realize this when I walked in the door. I was only concerned with getting inside and away from the cold, wet, nasty conditions I had been wading through all night. The whole drive home I sat in my car with a damp coat on me, dreaming of the hot bath that would warm me right up and rev start my sleep cycle from the relaxation it would provide. But what do I come home to...no...hot...water! When you live in an older house, these kinds of problems creep up on you at moments you would not expect. At this exact moment I felt the emotion I can only compare to this...

Ralphie's dad battled on and on with the furnace in their basement in the classic tale of A Christmas Story. I find these scenes to be extra funny now that I own a home of my own, and have too reacted this way to a malfunction within my home. This is the initial reaction of a homeowner when something unexpectedly goes wrong. You flip out! Anger creeps up from deep down inside you and it's like you can't even attempt to fix the thing until you yell at! (I know, like that's going to do any good - but it really makes you feel better and like you are accomplishing things) The big problem about trying to fix something when you are going through this initial anger is that you are not at your most graceful. Your movements are quick, swift, and unpredictable. Recipe for adding to the already disaster. I was just bounding around about as graceful as gazelle when I tried to solve the crime that is having no hot water. I went down to the basement and tried to discover what was taking away my precious hot water. I'll tell you what I did find - lots of COLD water...on the floor. Yeah, I didn't wear shoes down there. That would've made sense, and I was in the mad as hell stage of home repair. This only added fuel to my fire. I yelled at the water on the floor. "Why are you in my basement?! You are ruining my night, and totally messing up my purple socks! Now how am I supposed to get to the fuse box now! Can one thing go right tonight, I ask you?!" You know, things like that. Of course I did not solve the problem then. You never solve the problem at this stage. Next we move on to the next stage of home repair that I describe like this...

Remember in Money Pit, when Tom Hanks filled the tub with hot water and it fell right through all the way to the ground floor? What did he do next? LAUGH! He sat back and just laughed - almost crazily. This is when you realize the whole situation is just kind of funny. You think back to when you were yelling hysterically about it, and just have to laugh at yourself. I think this is the moment when I say to myself - ok there is nothing I can do to change the fact that it has happened, so why I am making myself crazy? I'm going to laugh at how inconvenient and yet ironic it is that I can't get any hot water in this house, when there is an abundance of cold water falling from the sky outside, and pooling in the floor of my basement. I chose crazy laughter over crazy screaming. Let's just sit back and not make the vein on my forehead pulse out. Tomorrow is another day. And with a clear mind I will come up with an answer to my problem. And I did. I solved it just fine. And then I called dad to check and make sure I did it right :) Aren't dads just the best!

now that's scary!

2011-02-15T17:34:00.000-08:00

This past weekend was what Whitney and I affectionately called the "Paranormal Weekend". As some of you may know, this past week, Paranormal Activity 2 was released on DVD. Now this past Halloween I watched the first Paranormal Activity with Whitney here at my house. But, I was not willing to go to the theater to see Paranormal Activity 2. Why? You man ask.........

See the girl freaking out in the front there? That would be me! This is an actual photo from an audience of Paranormal Activity 2. I would have FREAKED out in the theater.

Now back in October when I watched the first one with Whitney, she was very amused. She had seen the movie already, and I had not. So.....she got to watch me- watch the movie. I sat in my chair with a blanket pulled up to my nose. When watching a scary movie, I feel so much braver when I have my snuggie pulled half way up my face. It truly is my security blanket. The other humorous part is that I scream at every little thing! And I talk out the fear...'what was that noise?...is she safe?...why did he go downstairs?...DON'T OPEN THE DOOR!...ARE YOU CRAZY!...SHE'S GOING TO GET IT!'...and so on and so on. And as soon as night time hits in the movie....OH MAN...something is about to happen!

Well for this viewing of the second movie, Whitney scheduled us to watch it with her sister, Michelle and her husband, Eric. All three of these people have seen the movie. So I am the one jumping, screaming, and getting extremely nervous the entire time! Of course this is extra entertainment for them :) One scene in particular was extremely funny cause I really screamed and jumped!

Now I enjoy this kind of experience. These movies are fun kind of scary. Now Saw...not fun. Don't want to go there scary. But these are just suspenseful! They keep me on the edge of my seat and cause an adrenaline rush that can only be compared to when Whitney and I rode The Tower of Terror a couple of years ago. That first drop is really scary! It is really terrifying (if you will) because you don't know what to expect. But once you know what to expect, the scary thing then becomes thrilling and a bit of excitement. But - let me point out that I do not want to sleep alone in my house directly after watching these kinds of movies. I either need to have some time to watch something funny, or someone must be staying with me. :) I am still a bit of a weeny about this.

The really funny part of the evening came after watching the movie. I would like to call this challenge: How many times can we scare Erin tonight? After I watched this movie, I was jumpy. Rightfully so, yes....but still jumpy. So Michelle, Whitney, and Eric went with it and tried to scare me some more. (It was funny, I would laugh after each scare) Now let me ask you something...would THIS scare you???????

How about if they set it on the bathroom sink so that when you walked in you saw that with its legs crossed just waiting for you???? Now THAT is some creepy stuff! I made them take that out of the bathroom before I would go in! Dolls are creepy and this was just out there. They liked my reaction to that. The puppet ended up on my luggage. If I had been the last one to wake the next morning, I am sure he would have been next to my sleeping body. I am sure that the next trip to Michelle's the puppet continues to try and scare me. It's the eyes! They follow you, I tell you! Cree-eeepy!!!

a real man that can lead me...

2011-02-09T16:49:00.000-08:00

Last Sunday I went to my brother, Nick and Richelle's house for a little super bowl party. The three of us had a wonderful time eating appetizers with many types of cheese, watching the game while we yelled - gasped - jumped up - etc, and just enjoyed each others' company. My brother gave me a preview of the song he has chosen to sing at church this Sunday. It's a new song for him, so he wanted my opinion on how he did and if I liked the song. Also, I will not be able to attend this Sunday as I will be in Collinsville having a "paranormal weekend" with Whitney and her sister Michelle. I am sad to say I will not be able to attend, because this song will be a blessing to everyone there Sunday morning. I would like you to take just a moment and read the lyrics of this song. You need to read them, well - actually, you need to hear Nick sing them to really get the full impact of it, and this blog.

Sanctus Real - “Lead Me”

I look around and see my wonderful life
Almost perfect from the outside
In picture frames I see my beautiful wife
Always smiling
But on the inside, I can hear her saying...

“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone”

I see their faces, look in their innocent eyes
They're just children from the outside
I'm working hard, I tell myself they'll be fine
They're independent
But on the inside, I can hear them saying...

“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, but what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone”

So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I'm called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won't You lead me?

To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can't
Don't want to leave them hungry for love,
Chasing things that I could give up

I'll show them I'm willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

Father, lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

If I were in church on Sunday, I would be crying as Nick sang this song. I teared up in the truck last Sunday when he sang it to me. Here is Nick, proclaiming his promise in such a beautiful song. The words couldn't be more his own. It was like he wrote this himself. Here he is, about to get married to this great girl, and get these two wonderful little boys - and wants to lead all of them with the Lord at his side. How wonderful is this?!

I was extremely blessed to have two outstanding men in my life growing up. My father and brother have both been wonderful examples of what a real man is. I see it every day of my life with them, and more and more as I get older. It has become clear to me that I want a real man. A real man can lead me. He can lead me in life through only the strength, knowledge, and love that the Lord has given him - and in turn me.

I watched my brother the other night at his home with his family. I observe how they interact together as a family. I see the love they all possess for each other through their actions and reactions. I couldn't be more happy for my brother. The Lord has brought him to his soul mate. Richelle is so great. She and Nick together make a wonderful couple. They love each other so deeply. It is not often that you can look at two people and see when they look at each other, that they are madly in love. You can with them. And they know fully that this love is a gift. As I look around their living room, I see their daily devotional Bible sitting on the coffee table with their place marked inside it. They read the Bible together, and discuss what it means to them and learn from it together. How amazing is that? I want that! I want a partner in life, love, and devotion! My brother has found a woman who not only shares love with, but love for the Lord. He can be that spiritual leader of the household. He can be a real man.

I see my brother interact with the boys - Konnor and Kaden. Both boys are wonderfully unique from each other. Nick has a way with both of them. He seems to have found a bonding point with each boy. They share love in different ways. And when Nick talks about the boys, I almost want to tear up. He cares so deeply about them (as all of our family does now). You can see that he wants to do everything he can to make the best life for the boys as possible. When it was time for the boys to go to bed, Richelle and Nick both went to tuck them in. Richelle went to Kaden's room, as Nick went to Konnor's and then they appeared to switch. It was just so precious. My heart was full at that very moment. I have always known that my brother is a wonderful man. A real man. But to see a great girl who also sees and appreciates that in him, makes me so happy.

I wish my brother and his new family all the best. I know they will be so happy. I know he will lead this family in the path the Lord has laid out for them.

I remain on my search for that real man that can lead me. I want a man like my father and brother. I want a partner in life, love, and devotion. I want someone to read the Bible with, go to church together, laugh at and with one another, look at each other like it's the first time every time...I want a real man.

the harder parts of life...

2011-02-04T19:33:00.000-08:00

There were times in my life when I was younger that I witnessed pain of those that I loved. I was young when my Grandpa Williams had heart and aneurysm surgeries. I was not that old when my Grandma Flo had gallbladder surgery. There were a few other times when ones that I loved were admitted to a hospital and I was there in the waiting room along with my family. Now, when I was younger I played cards with my brother, talked with my cousin, and knew this wasn't a happy time. I didn't quite grasp the exact seriousness of the situation. I wasn't an adult yet. The overly emotional side of myself had not quite formed. When you're a kid, you are unaware of so many things. You sit around and think you know everything. You think you know what it is like to really hurt. You think you have experienced the harder parts of your life when something doesn't quite go your way. If only you knew that the real hard parts of life were still in front of you. The harder parts of life come much later. The harder parts of life are not when you are directly suffering - but when those you love - hurt, suffer, and you see it.

A few years back I was introduced to the beginning of the harder parts of life when my father had a heart attack. He was admitted to the hospital and had surgery. This was the first jolt to my system when it came to aching in my heart for the suffering of someone I loved. This was one of the scariest moments of my life. Such an unexpected event as this to happen to my number one guy! I truly don't know what I would do without my dad. So to see my dad hurt in such a way tore away at my heart. I found myself bursting into tears at the drop of the hat just because I was helpless to him while he was in such pain.

In the past year I have lost my grandparents on my Williams side. If you are an avid reader of my blog, you know that I was extremely close to them, and that this is still a situation that I am hurt over. The only other grandparent I have lost was my great Grandma Eva.

I still see a missing spot at our table when we have family get-togethers where Grandma Eva would sit. When my dad's garden is in full bloom, I see her sitting on a stool picking green beans. I hear her saying, what a great meal, isn't this a beautiful day, how nice to spend the day with family- and many other positive comments about a visit together. When I am in Carmi, I look up the hill, and remember walking up those big, crooked concrete steps to her back door - swinging that heavy, creaky door open to walk in the kitchen and smell vegetables cooking on the stove. I remember walking down the hill with her. I can still remember playing with dolls, coloring, and sitting at a tiny kids table in my room while the other adults were in the living room. I still miss Grandma Eva...alot.

I have spoken in great detail about the many things I miss about my Williams grandparents. Their passing was so different for me. They were such a part of my every day life growing up as a kid, that it seems like a piece of my life is missing here in Carrier Mills. Just knowing they aren't on Main Street anymore causes an unsettling feeling inside of me. I was just talking with my brother this week about them. He spoke of dreaming about them and becoming sad when he woke up and realized they were no longer with us. I have done this same thing. I still hurt.

But the harder part of life is not just that I still hurt. The harder part is that my parents hurt. I can see it in my dad's eyes when something reminds him of his parents. When we reminisce about good times in the past. I see his hurt and realize, I am upset about loosing my grandparents - but dad lost his parents. I try to relate and realize how lost I would be without my parents. I then get that ache in my chest for the hurt that my dad is going through. Here I am - helpless again.

My mother is about to see her father put into the nursing home. When we talk about it, we just talk briefly. To talk more about it, makes it hurt more. She is sitting around constantly thinking about her parents and hurting for them. Here I am again, aching in my heart for the pain my mother goes through. I want to take it all away, but I can't.

Right now I am in a position where I wish I could be more than I am for my parents. I want to be exactly what they need, when they need it. I want to be a miracle worker. I want to put my hand on their shoulders and melt the pain away. I want to wave my hand in front of their face and let them not think of the things that hurt them. I want to help them, as they have helped me my entire life. The only thing I can think to do, is be here. Be as present as I can. This is the harder part of life. Being helpless to those you really want to help. Hurting for those you love as they suffer. Praying each night for them, and being with them the next day. All I can really do is pray. The Lord will do his will, and whether or not I understand it - it will be for the best. I am struggling right now dealing with the harder part of life. It doesn't take much for that ache to generate in my chest and I know my heart is hurting for my parents, as well as myself. I would ask for my friends to pray for my family. I know that prayer causes a kind of healing that nothing else can top.

good job, you managed to un-class a classic...

2011-02-01T12:51:00.000-08:00

There are two things that I love and find highly entertaining: watching movies, and reading. And let me tell you, when they make a movie out of something I enjoyed reading, I am usually quite enthused about it. But usually when you make a book into a movie, it is either really good, or really bad!

There are some books that have made great movies!

At the top of this list for me, are the Harry Potter movies. The books are just outstanding - and the movies are awesome too! Although they can never get as much detail into the movie as I think they should (do they ever compared to the book), they still manage to tell the story without leaving out any major events, and still manage to include lots of little fun bits of the wizard world that drive our imaginations wild. I enjoy going to the midnight showing of the latest Harry Potter movie!

Even though some don't agree with me on this, I also go opening weekend to see the Twilight movies. Now most people who have read the books, watched Twilight - the first movie, and said these movies were lame. I will agree that the first movie was not up to par with the books. But let me tell you something, they learned from their mistakes, and have come a long way. Eclipse was really good, and I can't wait to see both parts of Breaking Dawn.

Nicolas Sparks are in my top ratings of books turned into movies also. First of all, his books are just amazing. If you haven't read him, you need to...NOW! Buuuutttt..my favorite book of his, is my least favorite movie made - Message in a Bottle. They changed the ending and pivotal parts of the plot. But the quality of all his other books and movies made me continue to return to the screen. The world is very familiar with the wonder that is The Notebook. Although this book is extremely special, read his others and then see those movies - they are also great.

And #4 are my top list is Charlotte's Web. The remake of this movie did the book justice! I love the quotes from the book throughout the movie, and how they captured the true emotion of the story.

Now let's talk a little about those books they SHOULDN'T have made into movies. There are many of these in the world, but I am going to mention the few that actually anger me just a bit that they couldn't do the books justice. I mean, come on - if you are going to screw up a classic, just leave it alone. You know that old saying, if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all....well.... I know that the ones I am about to mention are children's books, but I tend to get more emotional about these. I have a weak spot for children's literature, and an even weaker one for ones turned into movies. I want kids to read! I want them to be excited to do so. So please, don't make a crap movie about a classic book and discourage my students from reading a literary treasure.

First of all, what the world is up with Where the Wild Things Are???? What a cute book about dreams, imagination, and letting your mind wander to talk yourself down and make the most out of a situation. The movie is on HBO, I think about my tattered copy of a classic story, I decide to take a peak. HOLY CRAP! I am literally spooked by the creatures that are walking around with Max! I have a fear of bugged out eyeballs on a normal person, but these monsters would have traumatized me as a child. If I had had children at the time of this movie opening, I might have been falsely swayed into taking them to the movies. I would have been walking out with my kids. This is just weird and creepy. Click. Channel change. Not even watching five more minutes of this.

AND, what is the deal with some of the Dr. Seuss books they have made into movies??? I love Dr. Seuss. I'm not quite sure love is a strong enough word to describe how I feel about Dr. Seuss books! I dedicate an entire week to celebrating his birthday each year in my classroom. He has a beautiful way of showing children that being different is an awesome quality! Weird = Cool. I like that! I do NOT like the fact that Mike Myers took The Cat in the Hat to a whole new level of odd. It was that awkward kind of odd that you sit there and think, should he have just said that joke in a children's movie? The Cat was supposed to be obsessed with having fun and making everything into a game. The Mike Cat was just obsessed with making everything into a lame joke. We can have lots of good fun that is funny turned into wouldn't it be good if Mike cat knew how to be funny! Jim Carey did a slightly better job at being The Grinch. But the people who wrote this movie - again - tried so hard at making the movie world of Dr. Seuss more weird than needed be. Yes, his stories were about weird creatures who did funny things, but folks there is a line where we must not go into crazy-weird-that makes no sense. Dr. Seuss liked to make things fun for children. Let's not go overboard here. You just took the class out of that classic book for kids. Congratulations.

it's so exciting...

2011-01-26T17:52:00.001-08:00

It's January! It is the beginning of second semester, and I couldn't be happier! The first semester of First Grade is always a bit of a challenge. The kids are getting used to all the new routines, schedules, and actually having to do things on their own. First Graders can sometimes have a difficult time becoming slightly independent. I get to go through this change with six year olds. I am the one who has to force them to think and act for themselves. I'm not going to lie...sometimes it is rough. There are days with such frustration and crying that a nap is needed after class - and it's worse for the kids! ;) It is something that is forced upon the kids, and let's face it - we all have a little trouble with any kind of change, especially when we are six, and not used to the ways of this brutal world. I am the bad guy that makes these kids accountable for their actions, and start to teach them the truth of consequences - both good and bad - for their actions. It takes us the ENTIRE semester to get the routine down.

But now, it's second semester! I walk into my classroom at the beginning of January, and it's like a whole new class of kids! They are still the wonderful little family that I left in December. They still love for me to read to them, we all laugh hysterically at Phineas and Ferb, we can't wait to do a craft together, and they still want to hug me all the time. :) These are the same kids, but something is different....something wonderful has happened....they have turned into....FIRST GRADERS! Ah, yes. First Graders! They are no longer these little babies that came to me in mid August, they are now BIG kids ready to be independent and self sufficient. The return after winter vacation has made it easy for me to see that all that hard work molding these kids during first semester has paid off! I no longer have to give the same instruction 23 times before they follow it. They now only need around 3-4 reminders. :) They are ready and willing to do the work now. They know what is expected of them, and they accept it. There is no more fighting the truth that they are First Graders. There is just compliance. This is such an exciting time for me. It is the best time of year for a First Grade teacher. Everything was worth it now! The hard work, the frustration, the days of being ready for bed at 5:30 - just a small price to pay for the satisfaction I am having each day now. I feel like we can do anything as a class. We are ready to take on the world. And we just might! I know for sure we are going to take on the writing world. I have a feeling about this class. I think they are going to be excellent little authors. My goal for this year, is to give this group as many opportunities to write as I can. I want to see everything they can show me of their writing skills.

I am super pumped about this semester! I know I say this every year, (my brother reminds me that I do) but I have a feeling this is going to be the best year yet! I am ready to have such a good time with this group of kids. We have so many exciting celebrations coming up - 100th day of school, Charlotte's Web unit, Dr Seuss Week, and many more. I just know we will explore together, and learn so many things from each other. I find myself excited just thinking about all we will do, and all the possibilities that are embedded with this class of outstanding kids!

snow days - Carmi style!

2011-01-20T08:45:00.000-08:00

I love snow days. Why wouldn't I, right? I'm a teacher, who lives in a town with a lot of country roads. Snow is a happy thing for me. Since I grew up in a household of teachers, we usually knew ahead of time if we would be missing out on expanding our education for that day. For everyone else, I remember there was once a time when parents would listen to the radio to discover if school was not in session. This moved on to broadcasting the information on the news, or scroll across the bottom of the TV screen during your favorite prime time show. Now you can simply log onto news websites to quickly view school closings as they happen. I now receive the wondrous snow day text message from my work phone tree. I then pass on the text to my responsibility of the phone tree, and then a small celebration occurs in my household.

When I see those snow flakes fall, I am taken back to a memory of one of my perfect moments in my lifetime. Have you ever had a perfect moment? A perfect moment is something that sticks in your memory forever, without even trying to remember it. It is triggered by some surrounding stimulus, and takes you back to that moment with the power that can only be compared to a Flux-Capacitor-powered Delorian. When you recall a perfect moment, you can simply close your eyes and experience every sense of that moment again. You feel the cold winter breeze, smell the pine needles, and hear the sled cutting through the ice. A perfect moment is in a word, bliss. Its an occurrence in your life, that you were completely happy - and every time you think of it again, you are again happy.

Snowflakes trigger the memory of a perfect moment that happened to me on a snow day. I can't remember how old I was exactly. If I were a gambling person, I would say nine, maybe. That would make my brother around twelve at the time. One particular snow day, we ventured to our grandparents' house in Carmi. Our grandparents' house sits at the bottom of a glorious little hill. Our great-grandmother's house was at the top of this hill. There were thickets of trees lining both sides of the road on this hill, and it was always a great place of adventure for my brother and myself as children. But today, it was different. Today, there was snow every where. The road was slick with ice, and we brought....our sled. Our sled was NOT plastic. This was a classic sled. Iron frame that would cut right through the ice, and wood to lay across. The front has a fabulous steering system. It rode like a smooth dream. We were very excited, because the hill next to our home wasn't nearly as steep as the one in Carmi. We started out riding the sled together. It was super fun. We only ran into a tree on the side of the road about every other time. Lots of laughs. THEN, it was time to ride the sled one at a time. I went first. I laid down on the sled, griped the front steering, and stuck my feet up and out. Nick grabbed both feet, and began to run! At the perfect moment, he released my feet, and slipped to the ground - I'm sure. I took off like a lightening bolt! I still remember feeling the crisp, cold winter air cut across my face as I sliced through the ice of this hill. The smooth movement of the sled made me feel like I was gliding across a cloud. Unfortunately, as all things go, this ride was coming to an end, and fast. I looked in front of me and there was a patch of NO ice on the road. I may have been young, but expertise in sledding told me - not good. I was predicting that I would be thrown off of the sled - and in all truths I probably would have because when I was nine my weight was comparable with a balloon's. The only thing I could think to do was divert through steering. In a moment of pure panic, I over-compensated in my steerage. My sled suddenly jerked around and did a complete 180 in a time span on 0.2 seconds. This left me staring directly right back up at Nick at the top of the hill. He - who saw the entire thing - just stood there with his mouth wide open in amazement. I had not wrecked! (Half of my body was thrown sideways a bit though, and I was barely still on the sled) The moment was frozen for a split second as we stared at each other. Then, the laughter, the hollering of 'YEAH! That was AWESOME! HOLY CRAP' and quickly dragging the sled up the hill for another go happened directly after.

It was...thrilling. A moment of perfect adrenaline, followed by perfect outcome. Not many of those happen. It may seem like a really lame perfect moment, but to a nine year old girl - it was a moment to be never taken back. Although Nick and I were never able to recreate that moment again on that hill, we did have many other fun times. We really got the use out of that sled during our childhood. And that snow day in Carmi had other memories, that we still share at family get togethers. -Grandpa's truck not being able to make it up the hill. He would get a good run at it, and make it half way, and then slide right back down.
-Dad and Uncle John sledding with me and Nick.
-And Holly(the dog) running right along side of us while we slid down the hill.

The snow flakes trigger these memories. It makes me think of that perfect snow day moment. It makes me smile.

he can fix anything....

2011-01-10T16:42:00.000-08:00

At the very end of each day, I have my students gather all their things, pack them into their backpack, and put on their coats. We get our areas cleaned, put the chair on own desk, and line up for the bell. It is always interesting conversation during these last moments of the day. Everything is very low key and they find themselves full of random information that they feel they simply must tell me right now. The funny thing is, a chain reaction of conversation usually occurs. As an example - if little Billy were to blurt out 'Ms. Williams, I got a new dog over the weekend!' I would reply with something along the lines of, 'That's exciting Billy! What's it's name?' As soon as Billy would reply, every single kid who has a dog, once had a dog, or ever even though about having a dog feels the need to tell me their story. And lots of times, they want to do it all at once. It is sort of humerus to watch them waiting for their turn to tell me something. They stand there all jittery about to jump out of the skins for their chance to speak out. They look as though they will just scream if they don't get their turn at story time.

This afternoon I was pleasantly surprised at the topic of end of the day conversation in my class. One of the little boys in my class showed me his foam flyer that he had left at school on Friday. He was anxious to get it home. He looked up at me and said something about he didn't know if it would fly or not cause a part seemed broken. I told him to get some glue when he got home- that I was sure his mom would have some glue around the house to fix it. He looked up at me and said, my dad could probably fix it - he fixes everything that breaks around the house. This caused that chain reaction chat among my students where each one looked at him and said things like: my dad can fix anything too, my dad builds lots of things at my house, he knows how to take care of everything, and etc. They all smiled and got very excited as they talked about the wondrous things their dad could do for them. It was absolutely adorable!

There was one thing going through my mind the entire time my kids were talking about their dads. It's something my dad always said to me growing up, and still to this day - I can fix anything but a broken heart, and I can work on that as long as I need to. This has been true about my dad for as long as I can remember! My dad CAN fix anything. I swear to you, that there have been times when things have been broken, and just the mere presence of my father made them work again. Honestly! I have had a remote that just wouldn't work, told dad about it, when he walked in the room and picked up that remote - OF COURSE - it worked for him (and after that for me as well). There are so many things in this old house of mine that leave my mind boggled and frazzled that dad can solve and fix with ease. And let me tell you, he can hang a shelf like no other. I can NEVER get it that level when I do it by myself! My dad can fix anything! And...even though he always said he couldn't fix a broken heart, he sure has been known to help ease the pain of one. :) I'm a VERY lucky girl!

And it sure was nice to hear all those kids talking about their dads the same way I talk about mine. I'm happy to hear that my students have some good heroes in their lives. I sure do in mine!

lose myself in it...

2011-01-04T18:54:00.000-08:00

When I buy a picture or piece of artwork to put in my house I know at first glance whether or not I like it. That is the easy part. Now the hard part for me is deciding exactly where I will place it in my house. Sure when I obtain pieces they are specified for a certain room in the house, but I must then set it on the floor or against the wall and wait. For some reason I must casually walk into this room for a few days - maybe weeks - and see how it strikes me and whether or not I will be able to live with it that high or that close to the other item hanging on the wall. I take consideration into every part of decor that hangs on these walls.

So when my dad made a comment a week or so ago about my basement walls, it just now hit me tonight what I wanted to do. He mentioned that he thought I might draw some of my characters on the walls instead of just painting them an all over color. That stayed in the back of my mind and tonight I was inspired as to what I wanted to do. I picked up my pencil and sketched some words on the wall. Now mind you this is the beginning process, but I am pleased with what was accomplished tonight. What I was really excited about - was a new project in the house!

I love my house projects, but more importantly I love to be inspired! I love to have that idea in my head that I can see and play over and over again in my mind like a mini movie that I am putting into production on the walls of this home. I love acting out my crafty ideas and putting these hands to work constructing something that I made. I look around this house and see me everywhere. Its in the items that I have chosen to keep in my house and on the walls, and the placement of everything in its own order that most of the time only I understand in my mind. My mother and I have a condition which we call "Monk doesn't like that"(inspired by the tv, which we love). This condition at times causes us to not stand for that picture to be unlevel, or why we moved that trinket a smidge to the left. We move or change these things and say, 'Monk doesn't like that'. I'm surrounded by bit of me all over this place, and love how it makes me feel. This house has and always will feel like my home because of the parts of me I have put into it. I have changed every room of this house and added sometimes a sprinkle, and other times a gush of Erin to them. I look around and I smile. I feel such a sense of accomplishment. Not that my decorating or artistic ability is so wonderful, but that I have worked hard enough to get this home and make it my own. I am very blessed in this aspect - and thankful for it! I am also thankful for the inspiration to keep making this place more and more all the time. I am ready to have fun with this new project and hope to continue to become inspired!

2011

2011-01-02T14:54:00.000-08:00

Well another year is upon us. The holiday season is officially, completely, and utterly over. Tomorrow I return to work. I always kind of feel like the new year doesn't really begin for me until I start back to work. I haven't dated anything, so to me 2011 hasn't officially began. I didn't see the ball drop, and haven't cared if I did since back in the day when I was still having New Year's Eve slumber parties with my girlfriends. After those days, I didn't get much of a thrill out of the countdown and dropping. I especially didn't care to find out if they really were going to drop some idiot from the Jersey Shore this year. I haven't started any of my goals, because to me the year begins tomorrow.

Everyone is always talking about the fresh start that a new year brings. You hear many saying things like, I'm going to do things differently this year - or the diet will stick this year - or I'm going to finish that this year. Resolutions are set. My year will be fantastic because I have set this goal. I think resolutions are all good and great, as long as they are attainable. You won't hear me saying my goal for the year is to lose 75 pounds, eat only foods that have no preservatives, or get married on a mountain - because let's be honest, those are things that just won't be happening with or without the glamor that is 2011. I don't even really like to say resolution out loud. I really just like to refer to them as goals I have set for myself that I would be very happy to see get accomplished within this new year. I really don't like to set myself up to fail at anything.

So let's see....what goals should I set for myself this year.

First of all - I always would like to be more healthy. (Notice I didn't say lose 30 pounds, or to not eat any ice cream) I want to have a healthier lifestyle. My dad and I just finished putting together my new elliptical machine. This will be a healthy choice for me. Not only will it keep my heart rate challenged, but it will be just what my bad knee needs to keep it limber and working better - any I may just shed a few pounds. It would be healthy for me to drink more water. I would like to really try for drinking more closely to the 8 glasses a day rule. Coke is my weakness. And I don't turn down tea when it's offered either, so more water would be good. I also need to strive towards eating more fruits and veggies. The only downside to living alone is the cooking for one thing. It is soooo hard for me to continuously cook meals with multiple veggie options. Not because I don't like to eat them, but because when I do this - my fridge is FULL all the time with the left overs. I will just have to work out a better system and get organized when planning my weekly meals with more veggies and fruits.

My other goal for the year, is to continue to listen to myself. I am very proud of how much I have listened to myself in the past few years. I truly am the person I am right now because I listened when my heart and head were trying to tell me a path to or not to take. I honestly believe I wouldn't have the things in my life that I do if I hadn't listened to myself. The only problem is, sometimes I tend to focus on what others are thinking or telling me I should do. The fact is - they aren't me. Even though I cherish them and love these people dearly - only I know what I want and don't want in my life. What I would love for myself this year, is to continue to listen to what my heart and head are telling me to do and not let the limitations of the what society thinks I should try to become. I am a very different person. I have a very independent life. I know when something isn't exactly what I want. And you know - that's ok. I don't have to be like everyone else. Being different doesn't mean you are unsuccessful at life, lacking in some area, or lonely. I am none of these things. I am just different because I continue to listen to myself. I want this for me in 2011.

Other than those two goals, I don't really know of anything I would do differently this year. I am actually quite happy with life. I really don't have anything to complain about. I can't sit down and name anything that I really want in my life that I don't already have. I have the best family- which I am lucky enough to get to see all the time. I am surrounded by some of the greatest friends a girl could ask for. And I have a wonderful home that I love to come back to every night where it's just me and Sushi- living happily. I look forward to 2011! 2010 was good for me. Some pretty awesome things happened in that year. I took some turns and roads that are leading me on the path that I am suppose to take. I'm currently living in the moment. And loving every moment that I'm living. What a precious gift this life is.

the day after...

2010-12-26T16:25:00.000-08:00

December 26 is upon us. The day where we look back on the month behind us and exhale a big gust of relief that we made it through another year. I love, love, LOVE Christmas, but let's be honest - it's alot to take in. To me it feels like a non stop force that keeps pulling me further along at a faster pace - that starts the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, and ended yesterday evening.

The reality of the fast paced style of the holiday season hit when I turned 18. Everyone in our family was growing up - and many of them having their own little families. When this happened, it was time to adjust. Change is something I sometimes struggle with, but have gotten better with over the years. Now we have like four different family Christmas gatherings that all happen in a month's time. Let me break down my Christmas for you...

Thanksgiving:
On the day of Thanksgiving I traveled with my parents to my grandparents' house in Carmi for lunch. We then ventured to Richelle's house in Marion for supper.

Thanksmas:
The following weekend after Thanksgiving is Thanksmas. This is a holiday we celebrate with our Michigan family to cover both Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Christmases:
We then have a Christmas dinner celebration with our Cinncinati and Northern Illinois family on the first or second weekend in December.

Then during the week before Christmas we have a dinner with The Williams crew.

On Christmas Eve we went to Richelle's family dinner.

And finally my yearly Christmas Eve night and Christmas morning routine with my parents, Nick, and now Richelle.

That is quite a bit of celebrating to do all in one month! Honestly though, I love it. Even though it is alot of work, and you feel like you are so off your normal routine you would lose your head if it wasn't screwed on - it is wonderful. I love spending time with family. AND I am truly blessed to have so much family that wants to spend time with me.

Christmas this year was a bit different. If you are an avid reader of my blog, you have read that my grandparents passed away this year. Therefore, the holiday season changed for my family. The Williams family always spent Christmas Eve dinner together at grandma and grandpa's house. Well....we didn't this year. Hard thing to deal with. It is hard enough to do something different, but this kind of different leaves that lump in your throat that you just can't swallow. You know what lump I am talking about? That one that creeps up when you are becoming emotional enough about something and you are about to cry, but then the pain of that lump distracts you just a bit. You try to swallow and it won't go away. The tears well up in the corners of your eyes, you *gulp* swallow, and choke back to hid the emotion and the lump. I have had to deal with "that lump" quite a bit the last few weeks. But, in the end my parents and I decided to make Christmas Eve as much like it used to be as we could. So...of course...we went to the kitchen. Christmas Eve morning we were all three working away in the kitchen preparing our traditional Christmas Eve dinner - just as grandma had taught us! Dad fried the chicken, and I made the chicken and dumplins. I have made many batches of chicken and dumplins with grandma, and on my own. This was the first batch I have made since her passing. I can't even describe to you the experience of making these dumplins on this day. There was such an ease about me this time. Everything I did just seemed to happen with a flow. There was no fuss, mess, or worry of something not going right. The rhythm of my rolling pin was the mood of the whole cooking experience....ease. I even felt different. Like I was somehow better at this task. And when I tasted them....oh BOY! They were the BEST dumplins I have EVER made! They tasted JUST like hers! I'm telling you this, grandma was with me in that kitchen. I could just feel it. I am sure of this. Even though I didn't get to see her that day, I felt her with me. And being the first year without her, it was exactly what I needed. What a blessing! Thank you Jesus for that! I later made her other Christmas specialty - Santa's Whiskers for Nick and Dad.

All in all it was a great holiday season. There was ALOT of change. And to be honest, I wasn't sure how I would handle ALL the change in one Christmas. It was wonderful. Christmas Eve was really nice, and Christmas morning was splendid. I stayed the night in my old bedroom at my parents' house, and woke up with my parents Christmas morning. Nick and Richelle showed up early for breakfast. We sat together at the table and just enjoyed each other as we always do. One thing I love about our family, is how much we laugh together. It is something we do almost non-stop when we are together. I love that about us. We all opened presents together, and had a nice lunch. Watched some Christmas movies, and most importantly told each other that we loved them. It was a very blessed Christmas. I will take all the changes that come my way as long as I have this family, our laughter, and love! I can't ask for anything more!!!

overwhelmed by the sensation of sadness coating my happy memories...

2010-12-08T13:11:00.000-08:00

Well the holidays are here again. This time of year is always very fast paced and full of excitement. Me being...totally me, it is also full of traditions. If you haven't gotten this little tid bit about me from previous blogs - I am ALL about traditions and things that hold sentimental value to me.

Thanksgiving kicks off the holiday season. Of course we traditionally have dinner with our little family - and it is wonderful. It is also great to have the inclusion of our newest addition to the family - Richelle, Konnor, and Kaden. We just laugh and have a great time when we are all together. Another tradition of mine and Nick's is Black Friday. We scope out the ads and decide where we want to go, how early we want venture out, and who is strong enough to go with us :) This year Richelle and Konnor joined us and we had a very successful Black Friday shopping experience.

Last weekend was our next chapter in this holiday season - Thanksmas. This was the second year we celebrated the wonder that is the day of Thanksmas. We invented it to celebrate both Thanksgiving and Christmas all in one day with our Michigan relatives. My mom's brother, his wife, daughter, and son in law - all live in Michigan. They don't venture to Southern Illinois very often, but for Thanksmas.....they WILL! :) The acts that take place on Thanksmas are: a huge amount of food that will be consumed ALL day and that is not completely all that healthy for you, the watching of some of our favorite Christmas movies(National Lampoons is always a must, as well as the Christmas Story), a crazy competition(last year was Christmas sweaters, this year hats, next year suspenders), and the playing of the Thanksmas games! One of the funnest parts of Thankmas is that we play board games together and just laaaaaaauuuuuggghhh! Seriously, some funny stuff happens and is said during some pretty ordinary board games. Every year we play - The Game of Things. We make some pretty outrageous answers and just really enjoy ourselves. But there is one rule you must follow during the Thankmas game of - The Game of Things....what happens at Thankmas, stays at Thankmas!!! That is really important!

This weekend another part of our family is coming to town and we will again consume way more food than we need to, visit, laugh, and enjoy ourselves.

The next week is my last week of work before vacation, and it is full of Christmas activities. I always create a Christmas Week. Every day has a different theme, with different activities to go with a favorite Christmas theme of mine. I like to try and show the kids some of what my favorite Christmas things were when I was their age.

The only thing that is happening this year that is not a traditional thing for me is some emotions surrounding loss. I lost both of my grandparents on the Williams side of my family this year. That means there is a chunk of my Christmas traditions and memories not happening. My mind is flooded with these memories. It seems like I can't see Christmas lights on houses, certain ornaments, or even foods without becoming overwhelmed with the sensation of sadness coating my happy memories. I don't quite know if that statement makes sense to anyone but me. My memories are still of happy times and bring me joy, but right now they still strike a painful jolt in my heart at the thought of them only being memories and never happenings again. We will never sit at the "kid table" in Grandma's kitchen eating great food, cracking jokes, and looking through all the different condiments on the table's lazy susan on Christmas Eve. The whole family won't squeeze into that living room and look over at Nick doing something silly and laugh, watch the grandparents open their presents, or listen to what Grandpa has to say about the paserbys while he looks out the front window. There will be no more of Grandma's famous fried chicken, dumplins, santa's whiskers, or peach cobbler. But the saddest of all, I won't be able to hug my grandparents this Christmas. I already miss them so much. I find myself becoming sad more frequently as Christmas approaches. I don't yet know how I will be on Christmas Eve itself. There are so many other changes that have happened this year. I just hope that when that time comes, I will be able to remember the happy aspects of everything that is making me sad. I want to realize that even though it stings now to remember these things, that what is important is that they happened in the first place. I am thankful for my wonderful life and those two wonderful people who were in it for almost 28 years. I love them so very much and want to thank them for all they did to help make me who I am. I want them to know how much their memories mean to me!

if I wasn't a muggle, I would be Ginny Weasley...

2010-11-18T17:28:00.001-08:00

Tonight at midnight I will be one of those crazy Harry Potter fans that will wait in line to get a good seat for the midnight showing of the newly released Deathly Hallows. I will admit that I am a big Harry Potter fan. I have read all of the books, and own all the movies. I have a shirt that says Muggle (which I will be wearing tonight), and know to gasp if someone shouts out the spell avada kedavra!

I am very aware that there are many skeptics that walk among us Harry Potter fans. I have heard different remarks from the non-Potter fans about my excitement over tonight's festivities. I am here to tell you, don't knock it till you try it! You sit there and say it's so unrealistic, or who wants to watch a bunch of weirdos waving their wands around. You really just have no idea! There are many reasons why I love the Harry Potter series!

I would have to say the main reason I love these books is their grasp on imagination. Seriously, JK Rowling has an amazing imagination. The whole point of a book or movie is to step out of our reality and take a jump through something that is not ordinary and swim through the wonder of what we wish could happen to us. You say that you won't have anything to do with Harry Potter because it is so unrealistic - I say I love it for that fact! Yes, I know that I will never be able to wave a wand around and cast a spell to make something float in air. I will also never be able to apparate (disappear, and reappear somewhere else of my choosing). And no I won't be wearing an invisibility cloak any time soon. But what if I could...or did! How awesome would that be?! The point of Harry Potter is not to judge whether or not this could really happen in real life - or point fingers and say that just because you love this, means you believe in such things as witchcraft - No. The point of this is to take a ride on the wild side of imagination and enjoy the world JK Rowling has created where these things are possible.

Tonight I will be immersed into a world unlike my own. I will be enthralled by the world that Harry Potter lives in and is able to be a wizard. When I leave the theater, I will not start waving a stick around hoping for my spells to happen (well maybe I will try it once - ha ha), but I will go back to my normal life. But for a few hours tonight, I will be a part of the world that is Harry Potter. A world full of imagination and the impossible. If you give it a chance, you might find that you like it - and I might see you wearing a Muggle shirt at the final movie release next summer.

it never gets easier...

2010-11-08T16:11:00.000-08:00

When we were kids, life was so much easier. We didn't realize just how great life was being a kid. We were too focused on getting older and becoming an adult to do adult like things. I want to hop into a Delorean with Doc Brown, go back to that little girl, and tell her - sometimes, being an adult is totally overrated. Because I have found that the older I get, I realize, it never gets easier. There is always someone or something that is trying to hold you back or get you down.

This past year I have lost two of my grandparents. My approaching birthday and the Christmas season remind me of my loss even more. The even sadder thing, my two remaining grandparents are having great struggles right now as well. I sit and think about their pain and situation, and want to take the pain away. I look at my mother, and wish I could lay my hands on her and take the pain and suffering from her and bear it myself. There are so many hard things we must deal with as we become older. As I experience the loss part of life more than I would wish lately - it makes me really put my life under a microscope.

Looking back on the past four years and how far I have come from the lost person I was - I am pleased. I was a shell of a woman. Unfortunately I had been more focused on what a guy wanted out of me and life to focus on what I wanted. Over the past four years I think I have become a strong, independent, and focused woman. But during the last six months of this year - my loss has made me look again at what my goals are in life.

In this life, there are three things that I consider to be the most important parts of my life: family and friends, my Christian faith, and teaching. Have I been looking at these things in the right perspective? Life is so short. Are my goals correct for each of three important parts of my life?

When it comes to teaching, I work each year at becoming better than the year before. Each new year brings a new little family into my classroom. I try to be more understanding than the year before, and listen a little more to what my kids really need from me. I feel that when it comes to the goals of my career - I am on tract. I realize I am continuously learning myself - and working to be better each year.

The most important thing to me is my family. I think that a day without family, is a sad day. I visit my parents every day - and that is not enough for me. I only wish I could visit my brother every day. My brother and I are so lucky to be so close, that I sometimes get really upset that we don't talk every day. We both make the effort though and talk on the phone frequently throughout the week, and see each other at least once a week. If my loss has taught me one thing it is, don't waste the time you have with family. Cherish each moment you get and don't take it for granted. These are the people who will love you no matter what!

But the one aspect of my life that can always improve on is what I do with my faith. For as long as I can remember, I have been a faithful Christian. My faith means SO much to me. Even through pain and loss in my life - I have not questioned my faith in The Lord. I love going to church, and participating in church activities. I am not afraid to tell you I am Christian, and try each day to show it in my every day life. But I feel that the one struggle in this life is to be the best Christian you can be. I think this is every Christian's daily battle. Putting the practices of you faith first in your life. I want to set life goals for myself to focus more on the practices of my faith. I want to center my life around being the best Christian I can be. I want to share this love and faith with the ones that I love and hold dear. There really isn't anything quite like going to church with your family. Sharing the love you feel enter your heart and spirit during a church service really is the best way to bond with those you are closest to in your life. I pray each night that The Lord show me where he wants my life to go. Who should I spend my time with? And can I draw myself closer to you by this relationship with them?

Life really doesn't get any easier the older we get. But there is so much we can do with this life. I find that when I am sad -from loss or the thought of what will have to happen next in this life or the life of those closest to me - that the best thing for me to do is to pray about staying on track with my life goals. Think positively, Erin. Think about what you can do next to make the next day easier or not as hard. What can you do or say to your mom or dad to make them not hurt as much today. Go on with your life. But bear in mind what you have learned from any heartache you suffer now. Make the rest of your life the best it can be. It may not get easier, but you are becoming stronger. I always remember a song that Arthur Ammon used to sing alot at church when I was a child. The chorus went, "He didn't say it would be easy." So true.

this is me....if you don't like it, either keep it to yourself or don't hang out with me...

2010-11-04T18:39:00.000-07:00

If you are someone that has been reading my blog since the beginning, you will recall one of my earlier blogs titled, The hardest time in my life. This blog was important to me. It was me putting it out there about how the hardest time in my life made me a stronger willed person. It brought me to the point where I am today. I am thankful and VERY happy taking care of MYSELF. I have taken the time to get to know what I REALLY want out of life, and myself. I am happy with how my life is, and the direction it is going. I am living an adult life, with the only person bossing me is ME! One part of the blog that still speaks true for me today is :

"But, when the final countdown started, the realization hit me. I was not the same person I was six years ago. Honestly, I wasn't the same person I was the year before. I was in my early twenties. I was figuring out what I wanted out of life. This man that had become my best friend, just wasn't who the Lord had planned for me to be with. The Lord knew I was going to change at this point in my life. He knew I wanted so many different things. And he made me strong enough to do what I had to do. I had to end this part of my life. "

The Lord did know what he was doing. I am so thankful for the examples of strong people the Lord has set in my life. I have taken years now to make myself into the woman that I want to be. I have figured many things out, and one of them is - I am going to make myself happy. I am going to do what I want to do. Now when I say this, I don't mean that I am going to rob a bank, or tell you what I think of you. No. Not the point I am making here. The point I am making, is that I am the only person who can tell me what to do. I won't be pushed or guilted into things like I was at one point in my life. I am done doing things to make other people more comfortable and not get the same in return. There have been many instances in my life with different types of relationships where I decided to compromise to make another person happy and never got the same in return. It's funny, there are so many people out there who think their opinion is the right one - and that it always needs to be shared. Someone once told me that thinking it is just as bad as saying it. I do NOT agree with them. Sometimes you need to keep it to yourself. That is why I say, this is me. If you don't like it, that's fine. I am totally aware that I will not be everyone's cup of tea. Buuuuuut, keep it to yourself. Or better yet, just don't hang out with me if it bothers you that much. Life is too short to sit around and be uncomfortable or upset. I choose to not sit with people I feel are either judging me, or trying to scold me like a child. I'm going to make myself happy. I'm going to do what makes me happy. I totally suggest you do the same.

smell my feet! give me something good to eat!

2010-10-28T17:28:00.000-07:00

I am a very traditional person. I love being this way! Just about every holiday there is some tradition that I feel I must continue to participate in to make it the best time yet. This ties in with how sentimental of a person I am. These traditions are so important to me because of that sentimental side. It warms my heart to feel the memories of my past through continuing a tradition.

Well it's Halloween weekend! This holiday season always makes me think of my life-long friend, Whitney. For as long as I can remember, we spent the Halloween night together at some point.

When we were kids, we would go trick or treating with our siblings and parents like all other kids. Once we were finished, Whitney and her family would always come to our house. It was so much fun! Our parents would sit in the kitchen or living room. They would talk, play cards, have coffee - grown up stuff. We would have the real fun however! (me, Nick, Whitney, and Kortney) We would begin by all getting in one of bedrooms, dumping out our Halloween candy (Nick and I had those plastic jack-o-lantern candy baskets with the black handles), and trading with each other. I can't describe how awesome this was! See - we went to different houses, and therefore had different candy choices. We could get rid of that candy that we hated, (licorice, dots, candy corn - yes I don't really like candy corn - I look forward to your comments) and get some we loved that someone else hated. It was just fabulous! Once we were satisfied with our candy intake for the evening, we continued on with our next activity. We always, always, always played with my fake kitchen set. When we were quite younger, the kitchen was in my bedroom. We would pretend to cook, and miraculously produce the best tasting Halloween candy from our efforts. As we got older, the kitchen set was moved to the basement. A sad fact we all learn from reading the Velveteen Rabbit, or watching Toy Story 3 - is that when we get older, we don't use our toys as much. But on Halloween, that toy kitchen set still was used - merely out of sentimental tradition. It's funny the things you remember. I still remember this little plastic yellow goblet-like glass I kept in the cabinet of my kitchen set. This was always Nick's glass. Every year we saved it for him. We would pour Coca-Cola in the play glasses instead of getting a real one from my mom's kitchen, you see.

This is the most similar picture of a play kitchen set I could find online. Mine was yellow. I think I had one more piece. If only I had kept it. I could keep it in my basement now.

Well, as we got ALOT older that tradition became not so easy to keep up with. Schedules were hard to mesh, and we got too old for trick or treating. Then one day in a yard sale, I sold the old play kitchen set for ten dollars. (I still think this was one of my worst decisions, ha ha) Now we no longer do this Halloween tradition.

However, Whitney and I are still the best of friends. And we still LOVE Halloween time! One thing that has changed about us since we were little kids, is that we now really like scary movies. We used to watch scary movies in high school alot. We also love to play board and video games. When I bought my house a few years ago, we started another Halloween tradition together. Every year at Halloween time, we get together and watch our favorite classic scary movies, and usually play some games. We remember the good old days of trading candy and playing with the kitchen set. But now, we have altered it to our more grown-up interests. :) Tonight is that night for us! I already know we will have a splendid time, as we always do. I have been smiling all day thinking about those memories, and the new ones we might make tonight!

No Bake Cookies...

2010-10-12T17:06:00.000-07:00

I love my kitchen. I love the retro looking yellow stove. I love all the cabinets and counter space. I even love my window I look out of when I wash dishes. The truth of the matter is, the kitchen is one of my favorite rooms in my house. In any house for that matter.

Cooking has always been something that interests me. If you know much about me, you know that a dream of mine has always been to have my own bakery. I remember thinking that over seriously when deciding my career in life. I then remembered how I am not exactly an early riser, and decided I couldn't pursue that dream. Just yesterday I was gazing at all the beautiful baked goods at Panera and wished to be in my kitchen baking away something that would fill the house with a delicious smell. I love to bake. If I had my little way, I would be making pies all day long. I love the movie Waitress, where she sits around and thinks up new pie recipes when the rest of the world gets her down. I would be in heaven if I had my own restaurant that had a menu filled with all the different pies I had invented and baked that day. Makes me smile just thinking about it.

Cooking and baking have been something that I have always been around. My grandma Williams was an excellent cook. And my mom is still outstanding in the kitchen. I was a very lucky girl who got to be around two ladies who really knew/know their way around the kitchen. I have many fond memories of both these ladies and our adventures in the best room in the house.

With grandma, I got to watch and help with alot of things, but the one thing that stands out the most is her dumplins. Her chicken and dumplins were famous in our family. I can now make some pretty awesome chicken and dumplins thanks to her teaching. It is about time I make my first batch this fall - now if it would just stay cool enough to really appreciate them. :)

With mom, I got to help with a variety of things. See, I was around mom cooking every single night. The older I got, the more I got to do with her in the kitchen. Now when I am home with her in the kitchen, we are a cooking team. When one walks away from the stove to start on something else, the other swings in there like a relief stirrer to make sure nothing sticks or burns. If one of us is chopping veggies when the oven goes off, the other sweeps in with oven mitts and saves the casserole from drying out. One of our favorite things to do is to cook together. If we have spare time on our hands, mom might look at me and say - "Want to bake some cookies?" And I always reply with - "Of course!" We have such a great time together in that kitchen standing side by side working. When I think of cooking with mom, the recipe that comes to mind first is No Bake Cookies. I think we have made a MILLION BAJILLION batches of these cookies. We love them! They are easy to make, and you almost always have all the ingredients in your pantry without having to go to the store. AND this recipe is one of those where mom and I just dance around the kitchen and each other doing our own jobs simultaneously and then looking like we weren't even trying very hard - make something absolutely delicious.

I made some No Bake Cookies tonight by myself. Mom wasn't here to work with me. And do you know what? I left one little thing out. Guess not having mom with me really throws me off sometimes. :)

Love ya Ma!

Fall, Hayrides, and my brother...

2010-10-01T20:44:00.000-07:00

A little over five years ago, my brother moved out of the home that we had lived in our entire lives, and moved twenty minutes away into his own house. Having lived with him for around 23 years, it was quite an adjustment for me. I am a very lucky person to have a brother who is one of my very best friends. Him moving out was the signal that we were grown ups, and it was time to take that next step of independence in our lives. I lived with our parents for three more years before I got my own house. We are now independent and grown up, but thankfully we remain each others' favorite person.

Every year since Nick's departure from our childhood home, he has had a hayride in October. This party includes all the best things about fall: bonfire, hayride, good food, friends, cold fall nights, and always some kind of humorous shenanigans(like photos with that road sign in the driveway - ha ha!). It doesn't seem to matter whether he has it the first weekend in October, or the last, that night still ends up being cold enough to make you bundle up and shiver until you get close to the fire. Is there anything better to do on a fall night?!

In the past I have always liked going to his house before everyone else arrives, to watch Nick in his glory. Nick is quite the little putterer around his house. Before the festivities of his fall party, he can be found cleaning inside the house, smoking some amazing meat to eat that night, or outside chopping fire wood and building a massive fire. He is a man on a mission, and can do that while having a funny movie playing on the livingroom TV, taking tiny breaks every now and again to laugh at a favorite part. I love to hang out with him while he is messing around his house.

Now when I say he has a hayride, I don't mean that he has one for the kids that are present at the party. This is an adult hayride. Sure, there are always some kids on board, but primarily, this is a fun event for all us grown ups who just want to relive that fun we had once upon a time when we were young. Anyone who knows me at all, knows that I am a kid at heart. So climbing on Nick's trailer that is loaded down with hay and settling in for a ride through the back of Marion and into the country is enough to get me all wound up! I'm smiling more than the kids - who are complaining about it being cold. WHAT?! It's supposed to be cold....it's...a...hayride! Only the truly successful hayrides leave you so cold at the end that everyone runs to the fire and can't decide which side of you to point at the fire to warm up first! I'm sorry kids, was there not enough technology on this ride to please you? Bah! Humbug! Get with the outdoors kiddos, it's fall! The only thing that would make this night better, is if we were all going back to carve pumpkins together!

Get the hot chocolate brewing, and the s'mores toasting, cause tomorrow night is the big event! It will be a night full of some of the same things we do and love every year, and surely some events that we never thought would happen. You never know what to expect when you go to one of Nick's hayrides! But that really is what makes it the most wonderful time of the year!

just a little reminder...

2010-08-26T13:58:00.000-07:00

Last night was one of those nights where some old friends come together to watch some old found VHS tapes, hoping to strike gold on memories. We did strike some gold. I find it to be a happy thought for me that such an object as an old VHS tape could hold such memories for me and my friends.

When most people look at a VHS tape now-a-days, they think things like, how old school, or let's walk back into the stone age with that thing. VHS are now a thing of the past. I can remember when they were the very present. Every day when I went to school, I glanced at the VCR to make sure it was set to tape General Hospital. When I went out with the girls on Saturday night, I made sure SNL was going to be recorded. VHS were like a small lifeline to me. Now my DVR is my dear friend. We have made such advances in technology that a VCR looks like a pain to even mess with. I think about how I went from VCR, to TiVo, (I still miss my TiVo. I used to refer to him as the best boyfriend I ever had. Ha ha!) to DVR. Each advance better than the other at making it easy for me to constantly keep up with the shows or movies I want, while being able to wait and watch them when I have the time. Think about that, and then look at a VHS tape. You have to WAIT for it to rewind. You have to WAIT for it to not be static-y. Even the fast forward is slower on a VHS tape.

But I will tell you what, my friends, when that VHS contains something special from the past...you will wait for it! When that VHS holds a recording that sparks a million memories and laughs between a group of friends, it is soooo worth the wait. Last night we watched old shows and laughed at the story line, the cloths, how much these people had changed, and OF COURSE the commercials. If you think you hate commercials, watch something you taped like ten years ago and see how much you laugh when a commercial comes on. It's great! We talked about converting our old VHS tapes to DVDs. Between the three of us, we have quite a few tapes of shows we still watch from the past, and our own creations we made back in the day together. Honestly, I think half of the fun last night was due to the fact that it was on a VHS. Even if they are a pain and not tech savvy, they are still a part of our past...and us.

what did we learn on the show tonight craig....

2010-08-11T22:07:00.000-07:00

I learned that I would love, love, love to have Craig Ferguson's job! I am not kidding at all when I say I would give up the teaching business, pick up and move to California if he called me today and said - be my co-host!

Let me back track a little here. One of the things I love to do on vacation is to stay up late and watch TV and movies. I don't know why, but for some reason, the later in the night it gets, the better the TV and movies are for me. I have always liked the Late, Late Show with Craig Ferguson, but never got in the daily habit of watching it until this summer. My DVR has been set every night to tape this piece of hilariousness. (of course that's a word!) During my vacation, I just stayed up and watched it. I would laugh so much at this show, I would not be able to fall asleep for a while after watching it. I would be wide awake again and no where near ready for bed. So now that I am back to work, I DVR it, and watch it the next day.

There are so many things that I just find so funny on the show. It is interesting because it is my type of humor. I watch certain things, think of how knee-slapping funny it is to me, and then think - I could totally do that every day too! My dilemma now is, how could I do this every day? I don't know that I could, being that I teach six and seven year olds. They don't really have this type of humor. And let's be honest some of it is no where near appropriate for that age. I have made a list of some of the major things that I find absolutely out of the ordinary humorous about the show that I wish to incorporate into my every day life somehow.

1 - He speaks with a Scottish accent! I don't care who you are, that is cool. I love a Scottish accent. I love all accents. It is perfectly normal for him to speak in different accents all the time when he is talking. I want every one to not think I am crazy if I just bust out a Scottish or English accent mid-sentence! My brother and I talk in accents to each other all the time. I want to take this to the next level and do it when teaching even!

2 - He has a ROBOT! And this is not just any robot folks, this is Geoff Peterson. Geoff Peterson adds comments to the conversation. How cool is that. Just think, I could be teaching away, and my own robot could add some line like, "Way to go kids! Keep up the hard work! What a great group of First Graders!" Admit it, you would have worked harder in school if a robot was feeding you random compliments. I also want it to say things when one of my bosses comes into my class. I want it to say things like "Looking good! Have you lost weight?!" and my personal favorite - "Look who it is kids, let's all give him a group hug!"

3 - He has tons of puppets! Now this is one I could pull off at work rather easily. But I will have to make my puppets not have as much graphic language as his before I bust them out when teaching what sound A makes. I think that we should all have puppets to say the things we don't really want to say to others. If there is a topic of conversation that could be a little iffy to talk about, use a puppet, and give it a funny accent. I guarantee the issue won't seem as bad if you do!

4 - He can just dance around all crazy like and no one makes fun of him or his moves. Ok so I do this a little bit already. I don't hold back at work from being silly by any means. They all already know that I am the goofy one. I have been known to bust out such moves as- The Lawn Mower, Eye of the Tiger Sky Punch, and Sherry's Filler move on more than one occasion. But I don't just bust a move every time I feel I would like to. I fear that not all will understand my goofiness as well as my coworkers. Why is it that we live in a world where I can't just do a silly dance move in the middle of Wal Mart without ridicule. Ha ha ha!

Seriously though - these things would make work and life just a little bit lighter. I love the fact that he does these things on a nightly basis, and is loved for doing them! I think that there are alot of people in the world who don't take the time to be goofy. There are so many people focusing on the bad that is happening all around us, and stressing out about all the things that can drag us down. I love that for an hour every night, someone is trying to make the people laugh and lighten the mood. Wouldn't everyone be a little bit more tolerable if they laughed more? :)

you helped make me the woman I am today...

2010-08-01T16:28:00.000-07:00

My grandmother was an amazing woman. She was a woman who changed my life and helped make me the woman I am today. When I was growing up, I was fortunate enough to get to see my grandmother almost every day. In all that time together, she made such an impression on me. She showed me so many things, and taught me so much about life. I have so many memories, that it is hard to just pick a few to share about her impact on my life.

She told me I could do anything I wanted. If I told her I wanted to be a veterinarian she would say things like, wouldn't that be fun to work with sweet animals all day. If I said I wanted to travel the world, she would say something like, how interesting to see so many different places. I told her once that I wanted to stay at home and be a mother, she said well you can do that, but you do so much more too. She never told me that I couldn't do something. She never discouraged, only encouraged.

She taught me to not be too scared to try new things. One of life's lessons that I still remember to this day, she taught me with salmon patties. When I was a little girl, I didn't like salmon patties. Grandma was fixing them for lunch one day. I took one look at them and decided this was not what I wanted to be eating. They looked odd. You couldn't really tell what was in them by an outward glance and so the unattractiveness of them made them unappealing to me. Grandma just kept right on cooking and made those salmon patties for lunch. As we sat down to eat, she put a small one on my plate. She looked at me and said, "try it." I looked at her with a timid, partially scared look. "These may not look delicious, but you may be surprised. Not everyone has the prettiest hair, face, or cloths, but their heart may be beautiful." So I took a bite of the salmon patty and realized, grandma was right. She used to love to tell this story and let everyone know that the next time she served salmon patties, I asked for the biggest one you got grandma. :) Those salmon patties weren't the best looking thing in the world, but they were delicious. Still to this day I try to not be too scared or skeptical to try new things.

She was constantly showing me how to cook. Grandma was an outstanding cook! She could fry chicken like no other, roll out some dumplins in the blink of an eye, and her peach cobbler with home made crust was superb. Those are my three favorite things she used to make for us. I can remember watching, time and time again while she cooked, and all the while telling myself I would be able to do this when I grew up. I would stand on a chair beside the stove and watch her, and help. I have dropped many dumplins into boiling broth in my childhood. :) And the amazing thing is, she never used recipes. She just knew. She knew how to cook and boy was she ever good at it! If you asked her how to make something she would use terms like a dab of this, or a little of that.

She showed me that family was important. Every Friday night, Nick and I would spend the night with them. We were quite young, and did tend to argue a bit then. Even though it probably wore her out every time, when Friday would come along, she would welcome us with open arms. Every year at Christmas Eve, she opened her house to the entire family. She would cook her specialties for the entire clan. She would always say how nice it was to have the family together and when you would leave she would say, "Come and see us again." It was clear that she loved to be around her family.

She taught me to be gracious. To know and give thanks to the Lord for all the blessings of the days that have come and are yet to come. She never went a day without thanking Jesus for something or giving him the glory for another day. She showed me true faith in the Lord throughout her entire life. I never saw her give up or just get down with everyday trials. Instead she always picked herself up, thanked the Lord for giving her the strength to do it, and went on. I find myself as I get older trying to be more like her when it comes to my faith. Constant and strong.

For the rest of my life I will have such wonderful memories of my grandmother. I will remember her kindness, and how hard she worked to have the best life she could. But most of all, I will remember her love. The way that she loved me, will touch my heart for the rest of my life. I wish I could put into words how special this woman made a little girl feel for 27 years of her life. I will take her with me through the rest of my life's journey in my heart. Thank you Jesus for giving me the blessing of having this woman as my grandmother.

roller coasters, theme parks, and my brother...

2010-07-26T15:16:00.000-07:00

If you know me pretty well, you know that I am close to my brother. Nick and I get along extremely well for brother and sister. He is one of my very best friends. One of the things Nick and I have always liked to do, was go to theme parks together.

Going to theme parks started back when we were just kids. Our parents took us to Holiday World quite a few times growing up. When summer hit, it wasn't unusual at all to think that before we sharpened our back to school pencils, a Holiday World trip was in store. This past weekend, Nick and I went to Holiday World again together (also with Richelle and Konner). As we were traveling there, we both remembered many years ago when our parents loaded us up in the car, didn't tell us where we were going, and took off. I still remember how excited we both were when we saw the gates of Holiday World. It can only be compared the the thrill of Clark Grizwald and his family when they ran from the car (parked far away for the ease of leaving in the closing traffic) to Wally World's entrance. It was the perfect day. I'm not kidding at all when I say that. I don't remember having to wait to ride ANY ride that day. There wasn't a single line. We could jump off of a ride, and get right back on again. The weather was perfect. Not too hot, and not breezy enough to where we would get cold after riding the Ragin' Rapids. And let me tell you folks, we rode the Ragin' Rapids. Again...and again...and again. We would come around to the end of the ride, cross under that bridge where mom and dad stood watching us and the joy lightening up our faces and hear us yell, "ONE MORE TIME! PLEEEEEAAAASE!" That went on for a while. Probably until closing time. It was one of those legendary days that I will remember for the rest of my life.

Now let's fast forward probably ten years plus to last summer. Nick and I took a road trip to Cincinnati to visit our cousin Davy and his family. We both had wanted to go to King's Island for a long time. We had read about the roller coasters, and just couldn't wait to see the thrills they has to offer us. Well folks...they didn't disappoint on the thrill factor. They have the BEST roller coasters there. One in particular, called Razorback, was out of this world thrilling! Let me try and paint a picture for ya. We didn't completely realize how the coast got it's name, until we were at the top of the first HUGE hill of the coaster. We creeped up to the tip top of the coast...tick,tick, tick, tick...it's like a clock counting down til your heart is in your throat and you are screaming loud enough that it just might jump out of your mouth! Well, when we started that first scary decent...we realized it was even scarier than we though! It was called Razorback because the track dipped WAY back inside like a Razorback snake would. We couldn't see ANY tracks when going down at what felt like light speed. I swear I thought Scotty was about to beam us directly from the tracks to the bridge of the Enterprise! I was screaming MY HEAD off!!! Of course it was that high pitched scream that only girls can do...or so I thought only girls could do. Turns out, Nick knows how to scream that way too! LOL!!! If I hadn't been so scared, I would have laughed til I cried. We rode so many great coasters that day. The funny part was listening to Nick during that first hill's climb. "Oooooohhh my god......Oooooohhhhh I'm going to scream......like a little girl.......Ooooooohh man..." LOL!!!!! EVERY TIME!!! It was grrreeeaaat entertainment for me. Still is!

When we were climbing the first hill of The Voyage this past weekend, Nick looked at me and did his ritual chant, "Ooooohhhh man.....this is high......" Then he proceeds to include something the girl in front of him didn't realize was a joke..."....I may throw up on you..." She whipped her head around and looked at him with the most horrified look! Then she looked at me, who was - of course, smiling and laughing a bit. But I shook my head NO the whole time I was laughing, I swear! Nick immediately said, "I'm kidding, not really!" When she turned her head back around, Nick and I BUST UP LAUGHING! Another memory that I won't ever forget. Some how, those unforgettable moments always seem to happen when I am with Nick. He is one of a kind. And he will forever be my buddy of choice when riding roller coasters at theme parks!

so how much wisdom did I keep in those teeth...

2010-07-16T20:28:00.000-07:00

As I mentioned in my last blog, Wednesday was the big surgery day. I had the last three of my wisdom teeth taken out. Before going in to this surgery, I was quite the nervous one. But honestly, the surgery part was a breeze. The ease of this procedure was most likely due to the fact that I had the nicest dental surgeon. Dr. Heine is great! I highly recommend him. He made me feel so much at ease. And I know it wasn't the drugs, cause he is the one who put my IV in, and he made me feel relaxed before that. The IV wasn't bad at all. He told me they used a different one from hospitals. Well I liked this one. All I remember was seeing the lady put about three syringes of medicine in me, then I laid back in the chair, and I closed my eyes and opened them again to see it was over. I swear it was like I just blinked and everything was finished. How amazing!

As far as I know, I didn't say anything crazy hilarious or embarrassing. But once I swung my legs around that chair, I realized standing up was going to be tough. I took a deep breath, stood up, and started out the door. When you are having trouble controlling the use of your limbs, sometimes it is better to get some speed up for travel. If I didn't try and get some speed going, I do believe I would have toppled over. Well I finally made it to the car. I am sure everyone watching me walk got a good laugh out of that, or they were thinking - look at that girl, drunk and it's only 10 am. I am sure that is what I looked like. When I finally got back to the car, I was ready to get home. I then realize something else was completely different with my body...my head felt like it weighed around 40 pounds now! I just couldn't seem to hold my head up long enough to look at where we were going. I finally gave up the fight with my neck of supporting this HUGE melon of a head and laid back.

I tried to sleep the first day, but my stomach was just so messed up from the medicine they gave me for the pain. I sucked it up for a while, cause I WAS going to take those pain pills. Although I have felt no terrible tooth pain thus far in this adventure, I DO NOT want to know what I feel without the pain pills. Well I just couldn't take the throwing up anymore on Thursday. Mom called the Dr and he sent in a prescription for anti-nausea medicine. Ever since then, I have been getting better and better. Now I will say this, I sleep ALOT when I am taking the medicine. But that's ok. So for the last three days I have been sleeping and resting as much as I could. I hadn't talked much until this afternoon. I started speaking more that using gestures, and I am a little sore in the mouth. I should probably try not to talk that much for another day. I know, that sounds like an impossible feat for me doesn't it?! :) A friend of mine told me the yesterday that I would be the perfect girlfriend right now. He is such the charmer, isn't he...yeah right!

Not talking so much, I can do that. But here is what I am tired of missing...FOOD! I am so ready to eat some regular food. You know how it is though, when you can't have something, you want it all the time. A few more days won't kill me, I suppose.

you say over-dramatic, I say concerned and cautious...

2010-07-12T16:27:00.000-07:00

I am not looking forward to this Wednesday...at ALL! Wednesday I am going to have three wisdom teeth removed. About two years ago my dentist was able to pull one of my wisdom teeth, that was about to give me some trouble. Well, now another one is about to cause some more damage. My dentist can not pull this puppy out, it has to be removed. Along with the other two remaining wisdom teeth. By removed, I mean CUT out of my mouth. Now this may be a ROUTINE procedure, but to me it sounds quite severe. Yes, I know that most everyone has had this done. I have not, so therefore, I will now start to freak out a bit. I am completely prepared to explain my key points of why I am nervous about this situation.

1. I HATE needles. I hate anything that punctures my skin. It hurts! And I swear, I can feel it, the ENTIRE time. Sure they say you will only feel the initial prick...they are wrong. I know it's there. I feel it. It's not a naturally occurring thing on my arm, so get it off! I hate getting shots. I hate giving blood even more. When I get a cavity filled and they get that HUGE needle out and start to stick it in my mouth to numb it, I sink so far into the dentistry chair than my body becomes a part of that chair. Yes, I am baby. I am in total grasp of this. I embrace it and try to avoid needle situations.

2. I am always afraid that I will NOT go to sleep when they put me out. I have had only one other surgery in my life. Before I turned 16, I had knee surgery where they removed more than half of the cartilage in my left knee. I still remember being wheeled into the surgery room scared TO DEATH I wasn't going to go to sleep. I had nightmares of waking up mid surgery. Well, let's just say, I am a bit worried of this also.

3. Dry sockets. Do I really need to say more. A friend of mine told me she got a dry socket after her wisdom tooth was removed. I asked if she sucked out of a straw or did something they advised against and she told me no, it just happened. GREAT! I read on the internet some woman described it as bad a child birth. So now, in my head, I am fearing terrible labor pains of the mouth.

4. I can't have anything to eat or drink before the surgery. So when I go to bed on Tuesday night I will not be able to drink anything until the surgery is over, and probably not for a while after that. I always have something to drink. Whether I am at home, work, or in the car I always have water or a soda that I am drinking. I don't really think I know how to function without having some liquid to refresh me. What happens when I wake up in the night and need a drink of water? This stinks.

5. Just what am I suppose to eat after? My entire mouth is going to feel like someone kicked it with cleats on. There are a limited amount of things that will satisfy your hunger that don't require chewing.

Ok, ok...I know this is a bit dramatic. I also know just about everyone out there has had this procedure done. I am just a little baby-ish when it comes to situations where I know it will be painful. For some reason I thought getting it out there in blog form would make me feel better about it. I have had some nice friends tell me that it will be fine and I need to stop worrying. This is true. I know it will all be fine. But me being me, I have to flip out about it for a little bit. So thanks for listening to my little rant.

Not exactly love at first sight...

2010-07-11T16:17:00.000-07:00

A little over two years ago I walked into my house for the very first time. I had admired the outside view of the house for years. When I discovered it was for sale, I was extremely excited to see the interior of the place. Let's take a little trip down memory lane. I remember pulling into the driveway (nice size) and seeing there was a 2-door garage (yay). I walk up to the back door which has a cute, tiny porch area. Into the back door I go with the enthusiasm of a kid walking into Disneyland, and I enter the kitchen. STOP. PAUSE. SHOCK. As I look down at the kitchen floor I don't even think I could have controlled my facial expressions. There was carpet. In the kitchen. It was paisley. A paisley pattern with bright greens and orange colors. I had just never seen any carpet quite like it. Honestly, I hated it the first time I saw it. The second time I saw it I thought angry thoughts at it. Then the third time I saw it I think I just exhaled deeply and over-dramatically. By the time I had moved in, I had come to terms with the paisley kitchen carpet. I like retro things. This is definitely retro! :) So time moves on and I go from tolerating the carpet, to liking it's uniqueness!

Well, two years have gone by. There have been different home improvement projects each year. The time has now come, to remove the retro kitchen carpet. I'm not lying when I say that I have come to like how different it is from any other carpet. I would actually keep it in the house right now, if it really wasn't worn out. It is time for the carpet to depart.

So one night this week, with the help of some volunteering friends, we got the carpet out of the kitchen. The next day, my dad and I decided we needed to remove the tile that was under the carpet. Dad worked his butt off popping those tiles off. He was really quick about it. Then we went shopping for my new floor choice. I have decided on laminate floor and I am kinda particular on what kind. I don't want the skinny kind. I don't want the light kind. I want wider planks that look like real wood with the detail to show it. Well, I found some I liked. I bought a box, brought it home, and dad set it up on the floor. After looking at it for two days I have decided it will take the place of the retro kitchen carpet. Tomorrow I am off to Lowe's to buy the remainder of the laminate floor. Dad, mom, and I will work together and get the kitchen floor straightened out with the remainder of my vacation.

The funny thing I have discovered in all this is that I ended up loving something I once hated. Isn't it funny how in life there are so many instances where we hate something at first glance. We think it is just not our taste, or not for us...and then, when we aren't paying attention...we actually DO like it. Sometimes we discover that we love it. I love when those little surprises happen. Life is unpredictable. Don't judge a kitchen by its carpet! I did once. And it turned out, I loved every part of that kitchen...including the retro-paisley-green-orange carpet. I will frame a piece of this carpet to stay in the kitchen forever.

small town girl in the big city - day three: Navy Pier

2010-06-17T07:06:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a beautiful day in Chicago. The rain had stopped and I was able to walk to Rach's office to meet her for lunch. The weather was just wonderful and I really got to enjoy the atmosphere of walking down the streets of the city.

Our evening consisted of us going to Navy Pier. This was lots of fun. Another great place to go with friends. We ate at Bubba Gump Shrimp. I was extremely excited about this. I love that movie! I love most Tom Hanks movies, cause I LOVE Tom Hanks! I just got excited about everything from my souvenier glass, the movie stuff all around our table, my magnet, and my t-shirt that says I'm a Catch - Bubba Gump Shrimp! :) I decided the best course would be to gorge myself by eating a bucket of shellfish! I just thought that since I was there, I might as well go big or go home. Man, I shouldn't go big sometimes. I was REALLY full! But it was really good!

Next we walked around Navy Pier. There were lots of little stores, places to eat, and photo booths (where Rach and I just HAD to get out photo, no matter how over priced it may be, Lol!). We walked around outside. Listened to some live music. We then went on the BIG ferris wheel just as night hit us. That is gorgeous! We were able to see the city all lit up. Once we got on this thing, both of us admitted it was going a little too slow for our comfort zones. Here's the thing, I love roller coasters and rides, but I don't like heights that much. Let me explain that, I don't like to be up way high and not feel very protected. When I am on a roller coaster (like some at King's Island), they are extremely high, but that is just for like 2 seconds, and I am more preoccupied with the HUGE plummet to the ground I am about to take. :) This ferris wheel just doddled up there all high and started to make me a little nervous with our tiny bar doorway between us and a drop. We made it just fine. THe view was great. End of that story. ;) As it got darker night, they started the fireworks show. A radio station was sponsoring it, and man did they do their homework. They had music clips to go right along with the show. I have never seen a better fireworks show. They had this stuff done to the second on timing with the music and fireworks. And, there were fireworks I had never seen before. Just outstanding! I was so impressed. I just couldn't stop smiling. It's funny how things like that just bring the kid out in me. :)

Not exactly sure what tonight holds for us. We are going out to eat somewhere nice again. Don't know where we will go from there. Whatever we do, we will have fun! :)

small town girl in the big city day two: you make me want to howl at the moon

2010-06-16T08:33:00.000-07:00

Last night was another great night. Again, I went to two places I had never been which were both quite an experience. We started out by eating at Ed Debevics. (Thank you to those who left suggestions on Rach's facebook for the place.) Now that was a hoot! They do slightly prepare you for a very different eating experience in the beginning by asking you if you had ever been there. When you reply, no, they continue to tell you that they are rude and like it that way. Oh man, the waiters say extremely sarcastic things to you, and even yell at you. I just thought it was the funniest thing ever. I laughed every time they said or yelled anything at anyone. I just thought to myself, how great would it have been if Hardee's had been this way when I worked there. I would have never complained about work if I could have worked here. They get to wear really funky cloths, too. At one point our waitress, Major Pain, told Rach to "slow down on that soup, girl, MAN!" Lol! And told the people behind us they were WAY TOO NEEDY! Got to love it.

Next we went to Howl at the Moon. Rach has wanted to take me here for years now. She has talked about what a neat experience it is. She is absolutely correct! I had never been to a piano bar before and it was just great! I can't believe the talent in the people working there. They play the piano like none other, with no music in front of them, on request by people at the bar, and sing the song too. And to top it all off, they switch around the entire night to other instruments like drum, base guitar, etc. One of the guys who was playing I just couldn't take my eyes off of. Well, yes, he was very attractive, but every thing he played, he just had such enthusiasm and fun while he did it. And he was GOOD at playing that piano. Man, was he good. Other than watching the gorgeous man playing the piano, there were others in the band that were so entertaining. They played with enthusiasm and humor. It was just great. Everyone in the bar was singing along to every song. I loved it. I want to go back with a group of friends! SO anyone who is interested in taking the train up here for a couple nights, Let's GO! I want to come back to Howl at the Moon with you!

We walked back to the hotel last night. It was such a gorgeous night! The city is so beautiful! It was almost unreal walking around all these huge buildings. I have seen this stuff in movies, so it was just crazy to see it in person. I keep thinking about the movie My Best Friend's Wedding. There were so many scenes outside Chicago where you got to see alot of these sights.

I am up and it doesn't seem to be raining today. I am going to get ready and head out and about. I am going to meet Rach for lunch. Tonight we plan on eating at Bubba Gump Shrimp. I am really excited about this! Then we are going to see what is happening on Navy Pier. They have fire works and boat tours. Sounds like another fun evening!

small town girl in the big city: day one - planes, trains, and automobiles

2010-06-15T09:16:00.000-07:00

Ok so there weren't any planes yesterday, but there were trains and cab rides. These were two firsts for me. I experienced them and learned some new things. I guess as a teacher, I like to look at all things in life as learning experiences. :)

I started out the day with an early train ride from Carbondale to Chicago. I had hopes that the ride would be just fine and fears that I would ride for a while and feel sick or uncomfortable. My first flying experience made me a bit ill last year, so I was a little nervous yesterday. I liked the train. I had plenty of leg room. (one thing I think the movie theatres need to work on) With my bad knee this is a must for me when I am going to be in one spot for an extended period of time. I did, however learn that the train is like a movie theatre in the fact that I needed my extra jacket. They kept it cold in there! I also learned that the tiny pillow the lady seated next to us brought, would have been a plus if I planned on napping. Trains are also like movie theatres in the fact that once they get you on, they will over charge you for a drink. Lol! And if you are planning to ride the train I hope this sound doesn't bother you too much...WOO-WOO! You will be hearing that constantly throughout your trip. I think Rach was mumbling that sound in her sleep last night. LoL! But all in all, I enjoyed my train ride. I sat and read quite a bit with no stress of driving, or being the front seat navigator. It was relaxing.

My next new experince was a cab ride. Here are a few things I now know about cab drivers: They are very brave people. I feel that cab drivers must be wanna- be nascar drivers. I was waiting for that checkered flag many times so they would just calm down. I don't know that I have riden at such high speeds on a street in any town. I also don't ever recall being in a car with someone who bobbed and weaved so much at these high speeds. Most of my cab rides yesterday I was looking around and trying to see the sites. The last ride home yesterday evening I found the only way to keep calm and not getting sick, was to look straight ahead. Never will I be able to drive this way, or will I need to. Which leads me to my next learned fact about cab drivers, they are knowledgeable. I don't know that I could take someone where they wanted to go in Harrisburg just by them telling me the address. These people get a sentence told to them about where to go, and Bam, you're off. They are taking you on and off streets here and there all over and then all of a sudden, you're at your destination. Wow. And my last thing I realized about cabs...$$$! I had head people talk about the price, but once you take a few you realize, holy crap, my money is all gone. ;)

Oh, and a random but funny thing I learned on the streets is, birds aren't scared of anything here! Birds will walk right up to you. You can run right up to a bird and they just stare at you. I imagined one of them thinking, What? You don't scare me pedestrian. I guess living in Southern Illinois I am used to the birds being scared of us since you know, we shoot them and all. Lol!

We went to Shedd Aquarium yesterday after we got in. It was really nice. There were two things keeping us from seeing all we wanted: time, and the HUGE amount of people there. I did get to see what I was dying to see though...the dolphin show. Oh, and I also got my magnet. (I started collecting magnets from all the places I travel to about two years ago.)

We also went to Second City Comedy Club last night. Now that was just great! It was like being at Saturday Night Live. And for good reason. Many of the past stars from SNL once stood on the very stage that I saw last night. I laughed and laughed and really enjoyed myself. After they did one skit, they told us it's history as being done once by Steve Carrell, and I could just see him on that stage performing that skit.

I still don't know if I would make it living in a city. I want to drive my own car whereever I need to go. And let me make this point as well, I want to know how to get whereever I need to go when driving my own car. :) It is all still a bit overwhelming, but I am enjoying it! Tonight's adventure is Howl At The Moon. Rach has been wanting to take me here for years. I am excited! I'll let you know how it turns out and if there are any other things I learn today.

small town girl in the big city: the day before

2010-06-13T14:36:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow morning bright and EARLY, I will be boarding the train and heading to Chicago for the week. This will be a week full of firsts for me, and therefore will probably result in many blogs. I have never been on a train before this trip. I also have never been to Chicago. On some of my other journeys, I have driven through big cities, but never stayed there. But this week, I will be staying all week in the big city. I am really excited!

I am going with my friend Rachael. She will have to work during part of the day, but the nights are OURS! We are staying at the Hyatt Regency and have plans for every evening and night. Tomorrow will be a full day of fun for us. And then every afternoon and night we will do something different and fun in the city. And yes, I will probably have to say in the city all the time during these blogs. :)

So the big issue for today is the preparation for the trip. Packing for an entire week is quite a chore for me.

When I go on weekend excurions alone I pack everything including the kitchen sink. Now here I am at home trying to decide what I will need to get by for the next week. Well, don't I need all of it?! I mean, I need every single thing in this house for some reason or another or I wouldn't have it here...right?! That is how I feel when I have to prepare myself for a week away from my house. Apparently, I will have to narrow it down to the essentials, because the train has restrictions on how much you bring with you.

Here's another problem of mine... what to wear!!! I am able to dress myself every morning. I can get up, look in my closet or drawers, and pick out what I want to wear, put it on, and wear it. Now when I have to for five days in a row, we have a problem! Apparently I can only make one clothing choice at a time. I will wear this today...tomorrow...tomorrow...well my mind won't let me choose that outfit until then! I look in my closet and try to find like 6 or so outfits and discover...I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR! Typical female mentality, I know. But it happens every time I pack, and it has happened again today. Even the cloths I have chosen to pack have seemed to lost some of their glamour to me. They seem a bit duller now that I want to wear them in Chicago. I guess all my cloths are just Southern Illinois cloths. ;)

Now that I own a home, traveling is a little different. I find myself nervous about leaving. Did I turn the stove off? Did I leave one light on so it looks like I am home at night? Was any water running? I didn't leave anything the cat could knock over? Sure my parents will stop by each day to feed the cat and check on things. I just find that to be another thing I worry about when I leave this place for a while.

Ah, the stresses and obligations we must finish before traveling. They seem to never get done, but then, somehow, right before we leave we seem to think that we have it all completed. Of course, after you get a good distance away, you remember something you forgot to do, but can't go back to do it. It happens to everyone when they travel. So stayed tuned this week for some interesting adventures of this small town girl in the big city of chicago. I am sure it will make for entertaining reading.

is there anyone who eat peeps???

2010-06-03T11:32:00.000-07:00

Today was report card day at school. Basically this is the last time we will see our students before summer vacation. The last time they will be a part of our class. The kids come in, get their report card, and can leave directly after. Now I usually take goodies that I have left in my classroom and divide them up, and give them to my students on the last day. One more treat for the road! :) This year, the school got some Easter candy donated from CVS I think. There was sooo much that even after the teachers had taken some to give to all their students, there were left-overs. Well, turns out, we still had some left. And for all of you sitting there thinking, What - Easter was when?! And they still have candy?! And they gave it away today?! Two things - One, there are so many preservatives in some candy, it may be on this Earth longer than me. And, two, we are talking about kids. Kids will eat pretty much anything you give them. Remember Mikey? Give it to Mikey, he'll eat anything?? That is the rule with most kids. Yes, there are some picky ones that go against the majority. Just once, I was to bust open a pinata in my classroom and watch the scene that happens next. If I didn't fear some would rip the limbs off others for their favorite candy, I would do it.

Anyways, we had this Easter candy sitting on a table in the hall. All of us in our wing stand or sit in front of the trophy case with our report cards so kids and their parents can find us easily. We have this table of candy set up. The chocolate goes first. Then the jelly beans hit the road. But what did we have the most of...Peeps! I, myself have never been a fan of peeps. I think they are really cute and funny, but I do not wish to waste calories on those things! I guess I am finding out more and more, that I am not the only one who thinks this way. I guess since they make them in every color, and have them out every year, I assumed everyone except me loved peeps. Well...it was SO difficult to get rid of these peeps! We were giving them away and most of the kids didn't want them. Folks, when you are giving candy away and kids turn it down...that's bad!!! So now I form the question, is there anyone who really likes peeps??? Do you buy them and just eat one and then ask, why did I buy these??? Cause if so, you probably don't like peeps either. :) Honestly, if I did buy some peeps, it would be to make scenes like the pictures I have posted on this blog. I find them to be humerous.

I dare you to throw your sandwich at the bus driver!

2010-05-28T17:07:00.000-07:00

This Thursday was our end of the year field trip. For the past three years now, I have taken my First Graders on a guided hike through Giant City State Park's trail. I absolutley love this field trip! It is a science based (favorite subject) trip that also gets them outdoors (Bonus!). Every year the kids get really into it (and let's face it, so do I!). Well let me tell you, every year it is quite an adventure in some way or another. For those of you who don't know, when you take off somewhere with 30 kids, there is bound to be some kind of drama tangled in with the excitement.

As we begin our day, we must start out with one of the main activities on this day's list...the hour bus ride to the park. Now if you are one of these people who likes to think while they ride along somewhere and enjoy to hear the wind blow through the windows of your car and can really get some peace...don't... I repeat... DON'T ride a school bus ANYWHERE! :) I have quite a few friends who would not be able to have been able to take this. I have been on enough buses with First Graders to know what to expect.
First of all, this is SO EXCITING! Lol! In their mind this is so out of the oridinary and look all my friends are here too! The best day ever! I get to sit in this seat with a really high back and look across the isle to see two other classmates doing the same thing. I suddenly have the urge to stand up! I also want to reach across the isle and touch whoever I can that is closest to me...and then take the challenge to touch whoever is farthest away from me. Holy cow I just realized that if I talk loud enough, everyone at the front of the bus AND the back of the bus can hear what I am saying too. I must do this. For some reason, I now want to start singing any random song I think I can get the rest of the bus to sing with me. And all the while I do everything I am doing, I will be peeking me head into the isle and watch what my teach is doing.
I have come to the conslusion that this is what the kids are thinking. Lol! This year I was pleasantly surprised to find some of my girls singing Bad Romance as their choice for in bus entertainment. I sat, smiled, and in my head sang right along with this group of girls, and I couldn't help but think...I must be doing something right! :) I find this whole bus scenerio quite entertaining. I don't let it get to me, and just go with the flow.

Another interesting part of riding on a bus somewhere is the luck of the draw when it comes to bus drivers. They are like a box of chocolates...you never know what you are going to get! ;) Some are very laid back, some strict, some know where they are going and how to get us there, and others I wouldn't want driving my car let alone a yellow tank full of kids! One thing I do know, don't make the bus driver mad! They are holding your life in their hands. ;) This year we had a scene much like one from the movie Austin Powers (the firt one). Remember how Austin was trying to turn that little car around in the hallway and got it completely stuck and pinned between two walls? Well that was us, pinned between a tree and a car. We were trying to turn around to follow our nature guide to the trail. We pivoted this way, and that way. I saw how close the tree was, and then the car and wondered how mad the driver would get if I got out and took a picture of this spectacle! Well, I knew enough to NOT try that. I really didn't want to walk home! This could happen to anyone, I know. I don't even want to imagine what would happen if I were a bus driver. They would be saying, don't have her drive your field trip! LOL! Just one of the memories of the field trip scene that make me smile. :)

The field trip itself was awesome! The kids loved the hike and learned alot about nature and what they see outdoors. They even took them to the creek and showed them how Native Americans used rocks for face paint, and painted their faces. Really neat. We ate a picnic, the kids played. It was just a great day! On the way home, some kids were sleeping, and others just sitting tired as could be, and some were still searching inside their lunch box hoping to find a treat they missed. I know I have many more years of this exact scene, but each year it still makes me sad to see the day end. Each year I get a new class, full of new faces, and new identities. I love each class that I have. My family says I say this every year, but I have my favorite class this year. I hope I continue to say that every year. For me, it just keeps getting better every year. And I hope I keep getting better as a teacher every year as well. But on this day when I look at their satisfied, tired, sweet faces I begin to tear up. My adventure with this group is over. Sure, I will see them in the hallway and say hi and ask how they are...but never again will we work as a team, or family as I say, together. We are no longer 1B. I remain 1B, but with new recruits of next year. My family is gone. They are moving on, and I am left behind for the next group. I love my students very much! I wish nothing but the best for them, and that includes going to Second Grade. I just know one thing...I already miss them.

Been a little tense this week....

2010-05-23T14:03:00.000-07:00

So I will admit that there has been alot of stress going on with me this week. Now that I am getting older, when I becomed stressed, my body turns against me! Just when I need it the most to battle the fight of "getting down on yourself", my body joins forces with the stress and really test me. I find that when I becomed stressed all kinds of illnesses just pop up. Anyone who knows me at all knows that when I am stressed or nervous my stomach turns against me. After my knee surgery in highschool, it seems to also flare up when the stress hits. And as a kid when grown-ups always said their head hurt, and we kids never believed them.....BELIEVE them! When the tension hits home, the head aches as well. I don't know exactly when my body joined forces with stress, but I have to say I don't like it much.

The other real problem for me is the fact that stress seems to have this magical power of impatience. Here was my battle yesterday. I had bought some Uppercase Living from a friend of mine. Uppercase Living are those quotes or pictures that are sticky clings that you can hang directly on a wall. Well I ordered a few quotes and got to pick a free item. I have always wanted one of those chalk board stickers you stick on the wall. Maybe it is the teacher in me that just wants a chalk board in my house. You may find me this summer writing math problems or sight words on this thing. Now if you see my cat sitting at a desk, this is when you should worry. Any-who.... This big rectangular piece is going to be placed on a wall in my kitchen. I thought that made sense. I could write things I need to remember for the week on it, recipes I am making that night, grocery lists, I can just think of a million kitchen related things I can do with this sticky chalk board piece. It was surprisingly easy to get it level as well. Now, here is the problem.....my house....the walls....are all....paneling. I did not choose this, it was something that I have dealt with. I have painted every room except the living room, even though some people think you shouldn't paint paneling. Well, I did. I did not, however, think about how this would pose a problem with the sticky cling. I kid you not it took me FOR-EV-ER to hang this thing. The real reason it took so long is because stress partnered with impatience and just hit me hard. They had me breathing with more of a huff than natural breaths, with mad sounding grunts. I believe they had me biting my bottom lip the entire time, and I'm surprised I could relax my forehead back to normal after this spectacle. My mother witnessed this and probably thought to herself, is her head about to spin all the way around. It was quite an ordeal.

And then, after it was all said and done, I thought...why?! Why on Earth do I let stress take over myself in such this way? All I can say is, stress must have Superman abilities that are powered like Iron Man's suit. There is no stopping it. I have just reached that age where stress takes it toll and I must learn how to deal with it the best I can. Honestly, if that is the worst thing I do when I am stressed, I am lucky. Besides, I think it is a funny incident to picture. Now if only I could laugh at the time, and not just after. :)

I will always have the memories.

2010-05-19T16:34:00.000-07:00

This Tuesday my family suffered a great loss. My grandfather (my dad's dad) passed away. For the past month or so he has been getting increasingly worse. A couple weeks ago he had half his leg amputated in attempt to keep infection from spreading in his body. He has been fighting a battle for a while now that ended this week. It has been a tough situation, and I know it will be even tougher Friday at the funeral. Pray for strength for myself as well as my entire family.

My grandma and grandpa Williams were such a big part of mine and my brother's lives growing up. They lived a hop, skip, and jump away from us. Literally. From the time my brother could walk, he was venturing down to their house. (with or without my parents permission. There are sooo many funny stories behind that statement.)
When we were growing up, we would ride our bikes up the side street beside our house, take a right onto Main Street and glide down the hill. Then a slight left and loop around our grandparents' house. You could almost always discover grandpa sitting outside in or in front of the garage. He would be watching the cars drive by, or have some little project he was working on. Honestly, I think he was waiting for us. I don't know very many days that went by where Nick and I didn't venture that way for a visit. Nicholas (as he was always called by grandpa) would stay outside with grandpa in the garage. That is where the men and boys solved the problems of the world. :) I would go into the kitchen with grandma and learn the womanly things like how to fry chicken, make dumplins, and bake apple pie. All things I still love to do!

Nick and I used to always stay over night with our grandparents on Friday nights. Now, for those of you who know my brother and me, you know we are extremely close and best friends now. Well......when we were younger, we were......normal little siblings. Nick tried to be the king of pestering and I was the queen of whining about it. We were young and around each other every single day, almost all day long. The pesturing and whining was bound to happen. That isn't to say that we didn't enjoy each others' company, cause we had a blast together growing up. But, when you see each other all day, every day, all week long....Friday night can be a little tense sometimes. Our grandparents were saints. They almost always let us come together and kept us from killing each other when we were just so tired and still pestering and whiney.

After we would stay over Friday night, came the Saturday morning festivities. Let's start out with breakfast. One thing I always remember about my grandpa is the way he drank his coffee. He had a coffe mug AND saucer. He would sit the mug inside this big saucer, and pour his coffee until it overflowed into the saucer. He would then take the mug out of the saucer, pick up the saucer and drink out of it. He wanted his coffee to be cooled to perfection before taking a drink. After he emptied the contents of the saucer, he picked up his coffe mug, poured more in the saucer, and continued to drink from the saucer. This was just grandpa....drinking his coffee...in a way that I have only ever seen him do it. I told Nick he needs that cup and saucer. I don't want to see it thrown away or lost.

Now after breakfast we took an amazing trip down to the Millstone Market. We would jump out of the car, get two dollars each, and go in and decide how we would spend our fortune! Would I get Laffy Taffy, sunflower seeds, a Hershey's bar, or maybe a ton on Everlasting Gobstoppers. We could let our imagination run wild, as well as our inner math skills. We made that two dollars go as far as it would as grandma did her grocery shopping. Could Saturday morning get any better for two young kids???

My grandpa had many interesting things around his place that Nick and I saw as wonderful instruments for adventure. I can still remember riding around in a three-wheel bicycle grandpa kept around for us. There was a basket in the back between the two back wheels. Nick would sit in the seat and peddle, and I would ride in the basket. (This was a long time ago if you couldn't tell from that last statement. Don't remember the last time I fit in a BICYCLE BASKET. Lol!) Well, we rode ALL over in this thing. One day, Nick took a REALLY sharp turn, and we went straight into a HUGE bush! WHAM-O! No one was hurt. Not even that tricycle. I actually think we did that more than once. ;)

These memories just barely scratch on the surface of all the wonderful events that flood my mind this week. Although my grandpa is now gone, he will live forever in me with my memories. Nick and I may never see him in person, on this earth again, but we can see him any time we wish. All we have to do is remember all the good times we spent with him. The Lord gave us so many wonderful gifts. He gave us a brain, heart, and a soul with the power to remember those we have lost and still feel the love we have with them and for them just by thinking of a time we went to Millstone Market with them....or sitting on their lap at a birthday party. I get to feel that man's love anytime I want to....all I have to do is think about it and remember how he showed me he loved me. Thank you Lord. Thank you for letting me see my grandpa whenever I want through my memories. Take good care of him until I see him again. And if you don't mind, Lord, tell him thanks for the memories, and that I love him!

Opinion vs. Fact

2010-05-12T17:54:00.000-07:00

You know what gets on my nerves more than anything in the world??! That some people don't know the difference between fact and their own opinion. Honestly, there are more things in our lives based on our own opinions than facts. For example, I am single...fact. I have chosed this currect course in life...fact. I hope to one day find such a partnership in a man that I will want to bond my life with his....fact. Now who that man is, or what that man does to make him a man that I want to have a partnership with him, is my opinion of a great man. Do I claim that my opinion of a great man is the same as every one else??? No. Do I claim that what I think I need in a husband is the same as every one who is already married or ever will be??? No. Ladies and gentlemen, who we marry is based on our opinions and preferences. So for every one out there who has ever told a single person, you are too picky. Or...why is that important to you that he goes to church....can be a provider.....a spiritual leader in your household....can just be there for you.....makes you laugh....won't walk by a sink full of dishes for days waiting to see if you do them....and on and on. These may not be important things to some, but to someone they are! God made us individuals for a reason. There is no one on this planet that is the same as another...so why on Earth would we think that our OPINION on what constitutes a good mate would be the same?!?! I'm seriously asking this question! Why don't some people realize that their opinion is just as important to them as my opinion is to me! And that their opinion is just that...an opinion...not a fact.

This is just a venting session via my blog. Please don't take this personally, because it is my opinion based on some feelings from the past week or two. Just wondering if I am the only person who has ever felt this way or been made to feel this way.

The battle has just begun....

2010-04-26T16:14:00.000-07:00

Well it's that time of year again...mowing season! I'm sure you have already noticed that once a week I find it necessary to let all my friends on facebook know that I have mowed my yard. I do this not to brag in a - look at me I'm a mighty woman that mows my yard, kind of way - but in a I survived my yard this week, kind of way.

See, me and my yard have a constant battle that occurs every summer. Well, it has for the past two summers that I have lived in my house. My yard is not full of normal grass. I affectionately call my grass, Amazon grass. I call it this, because at times I feel I would make more progress if I had a Gi-normous blade that I hacked away at the grass. Can you picture what I am meaning here. I see one of those scenes from the movies about a place like the Amazon (hence the name) where the environment is just so thick with greenery and such that you must rake this huge blade back and forth in front of you in order to just walk through. When I am mowing, I picture myself doing this very thing.

A few winters back I had to have my plumbing completely redone. So they had to dig a TON of pipe up making long huge tunnel like holes in my yard. Now most people would be upset and say things like, "Oh no, the grass will be dead when they are done." NOT ME! I was all like "YES! That bloody Amazon grass will be no more now!" I'm going to let you in on a little secret...YOU CAN'T KILL AMAZON GRASS! My friends, it came back...in what seemed like the very next day. The Amazon grass came back. I thought it was a goner....but the grass came back....it just wouldn't stay away!!!!
So this meant another summer of battling with the grass.

This grass means business. It is NOT easy to push through. If I get too much speed going when I push, the mower will quit. It's THAT thick. It is so thick that I have to leave the guard all the way up on the side of the mower where grass spits out. This means that with any small hint of wind, the grass blows ALL OVER ME and usually in my face at times. While I am out there sweating away pushing the mower, the grass is blwoing up all over me. This causes my sensitive skin to just have a fit. So now I am pushing with all my might, getting grass blown in my face, and I'm itching like crazy.

Now this summer I am taking on a new adventure which is called, using the weed-eater! I have never been one to like a weed-eater. I find them quite intimidating...almost scary-like. Now I am not that experienced using this yard tool. Honestly, it is probably quite humerous to watch me use the thing. I stand all uncomfortable looking, holding this thing as far away from me as I can. I fear that I will chop my ankles off with that weird green string. Watching me start this contraption is quite a scene too! My dad has shown me the easiest way he thinks I can start this. Well there is just alot to do all at the same time when starting this thing. Yanking the string in just the right motiona and direction...putting the right amount of choke on the thing....Let's just say it takes me more than one try to get this thing going.

This is why I am so proud of myself each week when I complete this task of managing the Amazon grass, starting the weed-eater, and being brave enough to actually walk around while using the my weed-eater. I reward myself with the use of the leaf blower to blow all the grass off the sidewalk and driveway. Now this is a tool I like to use. You can really feel powerful while walking around with this manageable force in your hands. Love it! I guess I kinda like the whole ordeal. Even though I may talk like the mowing is horrible, it's not. It is just one of my weekly adventures I have on Route 45. One of those things that I will always remember about my house when I am older. It will be one of those stories I tell young people saying...in my day I had to PUSH the mower....through AMAZON GRASS....while it spit grass in my FACE...uphill....BOTH ways!! :)

The hardest time......

2010-04-18T13:42:00.000-07:00

My dear friend Rach and I have lots of long conversations about every aspect of life. We affectionately call it Patio Time. Mostly because it all started on the patio(but sometimes weather doesn't permit) and usually some of our best talks are there. We discuss everything that ever comes up in our lives. We hash out relationships, jobs, religion, and anything else that pops into our heads. When we are having "patio time" the rest of the world slips away, and there is just us. Two friends, more like soul mates, figuring out the next move we both should take in our endeavors.

This weekend during some "patio time", my friend told me something that just made me fee....good, for lack of a better word. She told me that she was telling her mother that she admired me. As she was saying this, I was thinking in my head.....hmmmm...where is she going with this. What do I do that is admirable. She continued on to say that she admires the fact that no matter what is happening in my life, be it good or bad, I always have faith that the Lord has a plan for my life. I just sat back and thought, well yes, I have always known that I think that way. I guess I just never realized that she admired me for it. I guess I just never realized, clearly that others don't have that same assurance embedded within their heart. The one thing that I can safely say about myself, is I have always had faith in the Lord's plan for my life....even in the worst of times.

As most people that are any way close to me know, about three years ago I went through the hardest time in my life. I ended an engagement and six year relationship. It was the hardest decision I have ever had to make. Not because I doubted myself or what I knew I wanted and had to do, but because I was cutting loose of someone that I had made the closest to me for six years. I had promised this person I was going to marry him, wore an engagement ring for six months, and planned our entire wedding. But, when the final countdown started, the realization hit me. I was not the same person I was six years ago. Honestly, I wasn't the same person I was the year before. I was in my early twenties. I was figuring out what I wanted out of life. This man that had become my best friend, just wasn't who the Lord had planned for me to be with. The Lord knew I was going to change at this point in my life. He knew I wanted so many different things. And he made me strong enough to do what I had to do. I had to end this part of my life. Of course it was hard. It is hard to say goodbye to anyone, even when you really need to. The hardest part about this decision was the unknown factor. I had dated him since I was 18, all of my college life, and now the beginnings of my career life. I was in uncharted area. I was lost. I knew the Lord wanted me to find who I was, but who was that?!?! THIS was the scary part of the situation. THIS was what left me sad for a brief period of my life. Although this was a very unsure time in my life, I never lost faith. I always kept thinking about the poem footprints. I just pictured in my head that the Lord was carrying me right now until I found who I really wanted to be. Now through some help from my wonderful family and Rach and Gracie, I was able to discover who I wanted to be. I just never lost faith. And my life is the best! I feel so blessed! I am who I want to be and where I want to be. Everything is the best it has ever been in my life.

I still don't have a problem having faith in the Lord. I think on a daily basis that the Lord has a plan for my life. Even though I am so happy and know that I am blessed beyond what I deserve, I know he still has more in store for me. I don't sit around and whine because I don't have everything or someone that I think I should....I know the Lord already knows what is in store for me. It may not happen on my schedule, but that has never seemed to bother me. It never caused me to have less faith.

So, thank you dear Rach for making me feel so strong, count my blessing once more, and smile at the thought of what all my life has yet to see, but is surely to come.

I have a kid with four legs living at my house!

2010-04-07T17:12:00.001-07:00

I don't have a child of my own. I have Sushi. Sushi is my furry companion that lives with me. Although she is a cat, she is really like my kid. Let me venture through the wonder that is Sushi with you and show you how she is my kid.
Here we have little baby Sushi. She fit into Nick's hands. Sooo tiny!

First off, Sushi is as loyal to me as a child is to their mother. Sushi only likes me. (Actually she likes my mom too. And is fond of being around my dad. But no one else really) When others are around she puts up on a tough face. This is really because she is jealous that others are taking up her mother's time. She wants it to be just us in the house...together. She will fight others for my affection. Just ask some of my friends, she has been a warrior more than once in my honor. That's my girl!

She also treats my house like a child. I can hardly walk around this house without tripping over one of her toys she has drug out into EVERY room of the house. She plays with grown up items like they are her own toys too. If I am working on a project, who wants to play with what I am doing, or sit right on top of the paper....Sushi. When I take the time to put out seasonal decorations throughout the house, she knocks them over or takes them somewhere else. Don't play with momma's stuff!

She even sleeps with me. Like a child, she often waits until I am asleep, then sneaks over to lay on top of me. It is so funny! She will lay next to me while I am attempting to go to sleep and then once I am sound asleep, here she comes. There have even been those creepy instances where I wake in the middle of the night to see her staring at me.

She is scared of everything that a little kid would be. Is that lightning?? What was that bang on the door?? Who was screaming on the TV?? Did you just stomp loudly on the floor?? Sushi couldn't tell me, she is hiding under the bed. She stays on watch for anything or anyone to come into our house uninvited....but if they do, I'm on my own.

Oh, and did I mention that I have a pet name for her? Lol! I know, I know. My term of endearment for Sushi is Little Foot.

This four legged child I have living in my house can be something else at times, but man do I love her! I just don't know what I would do without her in this house. She may not help out with the chores, or talk to me when I need to vent about my day, but just seeing her cute face, or feeling her rub against my leg....makes everything seem less stressful. She is my little package of joy that wanders around my house on four legs. Love ya Little Foot!

I don't want to grow up, I'm a Toys R Us kid!

2010-04-04T15:37:00.000-07:00

I consider myself a confident and independent woman. I have a wonderful job that allows me to have my own house that I take care of and love every minute of it. I mow the yard, clean, do the dishes, pay the bills, and get myself out of bed every morning in order to go to work. I have things that I must take care of in order to function in this world. I'm an adult.

But there is this other side of me that comes out in spurts, usually at least once a day. I'm a kid at heart! I love kid things! This is probably why I teach six and seven year olds. This was a slick way for me to act like a kid on a daily basis. And the thing is, my students love it. When I get all excited about a field trip to the pumpkin patch and run over to pick out my own pumpkin, the kids run with me. When we have Dr. Seuss week and I dress up like The Cat in the Hat, the kids do too, and we smile together. I love kid movies. I love playing with Gracie and her toys. I love acting like a kid!

Since today is Easter, the adult in me made the Strawberry Pie to take to my moms and helped with the dishes when dinner was finsihed. But, the kid in me got really excited that my mom had an Easter basket for me! When I ate the little chocolate bunny, I smiled and enjoyed every minute of it. That wasn't the last of Kid Erin. Kid Erin also dyed Easter eggs! Let me tell you, I used that wax crayon until it broke! I dyed two dozen eggs and drew something different on almost all of them. It was super fun for me. I laughed at some of my drawing, and others stared in awe at the beauty. I even took pictures of the event. I was very entertained. (Now the adult in me put the eggs back in the refrigerator to make deviled eggs out of later. Can't waste all those eggs!)

This is just one of the little joys in my life. Enjoying kid-like things relieves stress from my adult life. If you don't stop and find humor and/or fun in things, what's the point? Life is nothing without some fun! So why not make your own fun? What not act like a kid once in a while. When you are a kid, smiles are free!