This may be the beginning of a beautiful summer...

Another school year has ended.  This always is a bittersweet time of year for me.  Although I am starting my summer vacation - which is very exciting - I have to say goodbye to my family of first graders to do it.  I call them my family because for an entire year we spend every week day together.  We have to learn things about each other to not only make it through the year, but to have a great time together.  I love every one of my first graders, and think of them as "my kids".  I do special things for them throughout the year because they are so precious to me.  It is hard when the school year ends and I must say goodbye.  I will get a new group of kids in August, and we will again learn things about each other and start to have load of fun as well.  It's just hard at first letting them go to move on.


Now I am in my first week of vacation.  Thursday was my first official full day off of work.  I am very lucky to say that my wonderful boyfriend, Dexter has the same vacation. :)  We decided to make our first day of vacation a great kick off to this summer.  We ventured to St Louis and attended one of the last days of Star Trek the Exhibition at the Science Center.  As we are walking around and getting very excited about our pictures on the bridge of the Enterprise, I realized how lucky I am.  I have never dated anyone who shared my adoration for science fiction as Dexter does.  I can be my complete dorky self with him!  Never do I have to hide something that I love, because most of the time, he loves the same thing.  Now don't misunderstand me, there are still some guilty pleasures of mine he does not share the same longing to do as I - watching The Bachelor of Bachelorette, One Tree Hill, Dawson's Creek, making crafts, or polishing my nails funky colors - but for the most part, we are very similar.  I think this is one of the things that drew me to him early on in our dating.  We both love science fiction and we don't care who knows it!  My brother is the only friend of mine who ever really liked these kinds of movies and shows - so when Dexter came along, I was really excited.  We both really studied the Star Trek timeline that connected every movie and series and all the characters together like we would be tested afterwards.  When we walked past the replica of Jean Luc Picard's quarters on the ship, we stood in awe.  It was a really fun experience to share together.  It make me realize how lucky we are to have each other.  I wouldn't want to be with anyone else.  Not only did we have a great time getting our science fiction on - but he also took me to my favorite store, Express.  He was patient and helpful, and made me stare at him with adoring eyes the rest of the night.  And if that wasn't enough, we ended the day with dinner at Joe's Crab Shack.  We both LOVE crab legs!  I just don't know how the day could have been any better.  I was able to do so many things that I just LOVE, but I shared them with Dexter, who also loves these things.  It was one of those days when I saw what the Lord has been seeing for years.  One days like Thursday I know that he put both of us in this place at this time to be together.  He knew we would mesh so well together and made everything in our past not seem right or what we really wanted until we met each other.  The Lord has blessed us with a love and friendship that I am thankful for daily.  This is one happy girl!

A year together...

A year ago today was the very first time I went on a date with Dexter Parks. :) There are many things that I remember, thought, and knew on that first date. <3


What I remember from that very first date is, of course, I was nervous. I had been chatting online with this guy that I had only met in person, and talked briefly to in passing. I knew who he was for a very long time, but never really knew him. I remember that he was always very smart and smooth when it came to me. He had heard from friends of mine that I was not someone to be pushed or rushed into dating. I remember his patience as we chatting online and via texting for a while before I felt comfortable enough to go on a date with him. (I have never been the best at dating. I get nervous and uncomfortable around people I don't know well.) I remember being excited and going through most of my closet deciding what to wear. I remember that he brought me purple flowers, and opened all doors for me the entire night. I remember he took me to a restaurant I had never eaten at, and we talked so much that we were almost late for the movie. I remember it was quite a weird movie. I remember seeing him wear his glasses for the first time.(I think he is such a cutie in those glasses.) I remember it being the best first date I had ever been on.


I thought from the moment we started exchanging emails, chats, and texts that he would always be someone fun to talk to. We had many things in common and it seemed like we thought very similar. He seemed very thoughtful from the very beginning - bringing me flowers and making sure I was having a good time. I thought he had a nice truck that he took good care of, which says alot about a guy. I kept thinking that it would be easy to talk to him, not just tonight, but tomorrow night, or next week, or many nights from this one. (Big step for me at that time.) I thought he looked so handsome in his black dress shirt. (He is so handsome in black!) When he laughed and smiled I thought about how much I wanted to see him smile again. I thought it was the best first date I had ever been on.


I knew right away he was different from every other guy. I knew he was someone that I wanted to know everything about. I wanted to hear all his stories, and tell him all of mine. I knew that some day we would get to a point where things would be more serious. I knew that this night would not be our last date, but our first. I knew, deep down in my heart, that something more would come of this first date. I just never knew it would be all that it is today. :) I knew it was the best first date I had ever been on.


The Lord truly blessed me a year ago today. He blessed me with my best friend, and the love of my life. I remember how I thought that night that I knew this would be something special. Every day I am thankful for Dexter, our love, and our friendship. I realize what people have been talking about in movies and songs now. I know what love feels like. Happy Anniversary to my dear Dexter. I love you, and I always will <3

Chopped that stress away...

Lately Dexter and I have a new show obsession - Chopped. Thank you to Food Network for sponsoring an hour filled full of anticipation, tension, and lots of unique food combinations. We sit and watch and critique these professional chefs as though Food Network had contacted us and inquired our opinion. For 60 minutes we really feel like we know as much as Julia Child or Bobby Flay. It leaves us hungry for new ingredients and me a bit empowered in my own kitchen. I see these chefs romp about and toss this and that together and something almost always splendid is the result. I sit there and think, I'm going to try that - or something very similar. :)

Tonight was one of those good cooking experience nights. I felt like one of those Chopped chefs. I was bouncing around the kitchen with such ease. I had at least four things going at once with just the right pace. I would add a dash of this spice, a little of this to make a type of sauce - and not to brag too much, but my steaks were the perfect kind of juicy. It was one of those perfect nights in the kitchen. Even the clean up was quick and easy-like. Such a pleasurable experience. It really melted the stress of this week away.

I truly believe that each night in the kitchen is a toss up of how it will pan out. Pun intended. :) It will either be smooth and accomplish much, or it will seem as though disaster has struck. When I am stressed about those uncontrollable stresses at work, I enjoy a productive night in the kitchen where I leave feeling completely in control and as though I created something wonderful. And all those yum noises and 'this is so good' comments from Dexter really made my night! <3 It took me from feeling a bit tense, to relaxed and very thankful. Thankful for the great dinner, and for the great guy I got to share it with.

Remembering the party...

As a sad sorrow hits my family, I once again turn to my blog as an outlet for my emotions. My Grandpa Kenny went to heaven this past Saturday. His funeral will be at the end of this week. I find writing to be the perfect way to express myself in moments like these. I wrote something special for my Grandma and Grandpa Williams when they too went to heaven. And now I pay respect and honor to my Grandpa Kenny with a blog in his memory. I also plan to read this at his funeral, as I did for my other grandparents.



For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, and whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
-John 3:16

This was the first bible verse I ever memorized as a child. Now that I am an adult I can see why this is the first verse we are taught. This verse gives comfort, strength, and understanding in so many instances of life. Today, it gives me comfort. For I know, as do any one who knew my Grandpa Kenny, he is in heaven today. One of the best memories and facts that I know about my grandpa is that he was a Christian who is now no longer in pain, but enjoying his eternal life with the Lord and those who went before him. It gives me comfort to know that Saturday ended his pain, and began his life of eternal joy. That when he entered the gates, I know that Grandma Eva was waiting for him with open arms greeting her son with an embrace. They are rejoicing together, and that makes me smile.

My heart is filled with sorrow at the loss of such a wonderful man. He was a man that impacted my life as he did many others. The sadness seems to overwhelm you if you will let it. Instead of thinking about the loss today, I will try to focus on the happy memories that I am left with of my grandpa. Those will never go away. They are the gift from the Lord that I will cherish for the rest of my life. I thought I would share a few of them with you today so that you could see a glimpse of the man who I remember, love, and call grandpa.

When I think of Grandpa Kenny, the first thing that always comes to mind is his laugh. I don't think I ever visited the man where I didn't see a big smile and hear that hearty laugh of his. He liked to laugh, joke around, and tell stories. I always loved it when the men would get him going on stories from the past. Dad and Uncle John could always get him laughing about some adventure the three of them had experienced while helping grandpa farm or work. One of the all time favorite stories would have to be when grandpa was driving a heavily loaded truck with beans home for supper. We would all get laughing when they reminisced of how he sped over that bridge, didn't look back, went off the road a few times, and lost so many beans just so they wouldn't be late for supper.

When I think of grandpa's driving, I seem to always linger on the memory of an icy winter day that had been filled with sledding. Grandma Flo and Grandpa Kenny live on a road that has a wonderful hill that would ice over beautifully to make it the perfect place to ride a sled. Nick and I have had a few experiences sledding on their road that we won't soon forget. It was around noon on a day that we had spent all morning on that hill. The time had come for lunch with the family, and it was Grandpa's job to go get Grandma Eva. There was too much snow and ice for her to walk down the hill as she normally did. Grandpa set off down the driveway in his truck, backed onto the street, gave it some gas, and took off up the hill. And then found himself sliding backwards down the hill. So it gave it some more gas and went back up the hill. Annnnnnnd slid back down the hill again. So this time he backed up even further and gave it even more gas, and finally he made it up that hill. We all gathered around the window and watched and laughed the entire time. We actually wondered if he stopped at the top or just kept sliding on over the hill and down the other side. But soon enough, here he came back down with grandma.

As I said before my grandpa always seemed to be laughing and enjoying himself. As a small child I noticed this right away. Every time the family got together we laughed and really had a great time. A joke that I have shared with my grandpa all these years originated when I was young. After another fun filled visit with family, I patted grandpa on the back and said 'What a party, Grandpa!' He found such humor in that statement coming out of such a young girl, that it stuck. Every time we parted ways from there on I patted him on the back and said 'What a party, Grandpa!' And if he could get it in first he would pat me on the back and say 'What a party, Erin!' It was our little inside joke that never got old. As I stand here today I wish that I could pat him on the back once more. It pains me to say that I can not. But it warms my heart to know that his life was the party. He enjoyed his life every step of the way. And the really great news is, his party has really only just begun. So I say one last time, 'What a party, Grandpa!'

saying goodbye

Life is short, and life is sweet. Words that were spoken at my great uncle's funeral today. So true, and not always recognized by many.

My great uncle's death was an unexpected thing. Death is never an easy thing to deal with or understand. Even though it was over a year ago when my grandpa died, there are days when I still feel the loss. Today I not only felt the loss of my Uncle Fred, but of his brother, my grandpa. Fred, in so many ways, was so similar to my grandpa. He looked like grandpa, sounded like him, and also said the same kind of unique sayings. Fred had that soft-hearted way about him, like all the Williams men do- including my grandpa, dad, and brother. But one thing that set Fred apart from the other Williams men, was his way of holding a toothpick perfectly on the tip of his bottom lip. It was a skill that amazed me as a child. Fred, like my grandpa was a phone talker. I remember that my grandpa called the house every day. Fred called dad often to see how things were going down here - even after my grandparents died. It must be a Williams thing, cause I have also been known to talk on the phone a bit. :)

As I paid my final respects to Fred and saw him one last time today, it was almost like I was looking at my grandpa again. This did make saying goodbye harder. But it also made me realize that the ones we love are never truly gone. They stay with us. They live in each person who they touched somehow in their lifetime. Grandpa lived in Fred because he impacted his life, just as grandpa did my dad, brother, and myself. This will not be the last time that I see an instant of grandpa, or even Fred. They live in those of us who love them. And one day I will see them again. But for now, I thank the Lord for the gift of the memories and love that we can still feel.

what I'm most thankful for...

Thanksgiving is fast approaching, and I have been reading the posts people have been putting on facebook of what they are thankful for. What a wonderful thing to do, think of something you are thankful for each day. This is something that we should all do. I have been doing this each day. I haven't been posting them on facebook, but I still have been doing the practice.

There seems to be a recurring theme of mine each day. I seem to be thankful for love in my life.

Love is something that I have always known in my life.

Growing up in the household that I did, love was never something that I questioned or thought I was lacking of. My parents showed me love from the first moment I remember to this very day. Their actions always said one thing to my brother and me - we love you! I'm so thankful that I grew up in a house that was full of hugs and I love you's! I watch movies and hear songs that people write where they go their entire lives without saying I love you to their parents. I just don't know how this could be possible. Every time I talk to my parents, we always say I love you. This is something I am very thankful for.

My brother and I have also always loved each other. Sure, we bickered and argued when we were little bitty kids, but as we got older - we discovered we were the best of friends. We have so much in common, and can spend tons of time together and never get on each others' nerves. When something terrible or great happens, he is the person I want to talk to about it. We even speak our own "movie language". I am very thankful for the love I share with my brother.

I have had a loving relationship with The Lord since I was about ten years old. My parents always took us to church and Sunday School. I don't remember many Sundays where we didn't go to church. This life in church has provided a foundation of love in me that I can't even begin to explain its wonder. Even though I was saved by the grace of God many years ago, I still feel its warmth and strength every day of my life. I'm thankful that Jesus died for my sins, and that I am a sinner saved by his grace - and feel the love of the Lord every day of my life.

Over the years, I have made some pretty amazing friends. And I am lucky enough to say that my closest friends and I have a relationship where we express the love of our friendship to each other. There have been times in my life where the love of my friends got me through another night. I'm thankful that I have such wonderful friends that I know I could call at any hour of the night if needed.

My family is growing. In the past year it has expanded by one sister in law, and two nephews. The entire family is thankful for these additions. What we are most thankful for - is the love that we all share together. We instantly loved each other.

Seven months ago I met this guy. Even before we began "talking" or dating, I knew there was something unique and special about this guy. I was intrigued from the very beginning. Even though I may not have been the easiest person to date in the very beginning, I am thankful to say, this guy knew exactly what to say and do to keep me on my toes. There was never a date that I didn't go home smiling. We could talk about movies and theories we had and found out they were very similar. He laughed at things I found funny and worried others might think weird. I never could look at him and not smile. He made me laugh so much. I turned around twice and realized we had not only become best friends, but that I loved him more dearly than I had loved any guy. Here we are, seven months later, and I am still smiling and experiencing love yet again in my life. This is a kind of love I have never experienced before. I'm so very thankful for Dexter's love.

So as this month brings on thoughts of thankfulness to us all, I am reminded that I am most thankful for the love in my life. There are many forms of love present in my life, and I am thankful for it all. No. I am blessed by it all. I thank The Lord for blessing me with this life and the love in it. Have a blessed Thanksgiving everyone!

visiting the dentist...

One day this week, after work, I had to go to the dentist. I had put it off long enough. Even though I didn't really want to go, we get to a point in our lives where -our don't want to's - are outweighed by our responsibilities. Going to the dentist is something I know I must do, at least, semi-regularly in order to have healthy teeth. I am not fond of this practice. There are three main reasons why I lay in that chair holding my owns hands in a tight grip and stare at the ceiling with an intense look on my face.

1. I feel a bit uncomfortable at the fact that there is no designated place to look during the procedure. As I sit in that chair, my head and gaze are directed toward the ceiling. Yet there is nothing for me to stare at. I have often wondered why dentists don't post posters, or better yet a TV screen coming right out of the ceiling. Instead I lay there trying to find something to fixate my gaze upon. There are only so many times you can count the tiles, or stare at the lights before your eyes go a little fuzzy. I sit there and try to strategically NOT stare at the person working on my teeth. There is nothing more uncomfortable than when you just kind of glance over at them, and they choose that moment to look you in the eye. You dart your eyes quickly away like you were caught cheating on a test. I feel as though it is rude if I stare at them while they work. (Plus, I am just not that fond of direct eye contact)

2. I use a toothbrush with semi-soft bristles to clean my teeth daily. When I go to the dentist, they feel the need to drill, or sand away the dirtiness build-up. I realize these are standard and perfectly safe tools. But the vibrations these tools cause leave an image in my head of smoke pouring out of my mouth in the attempts to clean the teeth. Its not the most comforting feeling in the world.

3. I NEVER know what to do with my tongue! This is the chore that keeps me half annoyed, and half embarrassed during the entire visit. I know that I must keep my mouth open for them to clean my teeth, but what do I do with my tongue? Do I hold it up to keep it away from my bottom teeth? But then don't I look retarded with my tongue all tense and stretched out.....Do I flatten it on the bottom of my mouth? But when I try to do that and hold my mouth open, my mouth sllloooowwwwlllyyy closes to where they have a centimeter of open mouth to work in.......Do I have it touch the roof of my mouth? But when I do that all the water reside from their work falls down my throat and chokes me before that tiny vacuum sucks it out. It's like my tongue goes stupid. Not only does it not know where to go, but it falls in love with that tiny water vacuum. Every time they have me close my mouth so it can suck the water out, my tongue blocks the vacuum and scares the living crap out of me.

The good news is, that this visit usually only lasts around 20-30 minutes, and both my dental hygienist and dentist are some of the nicest people. I walk out with teeth that feel squeaky clean to the tongues touch. It's good to know that those few moments of uncomfortable silence and twitching have a nice result. I'm sure I will go back....sometime soon :)